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Sun Apr 27, 2014 8:43 am by V

but I renewed it.

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also I'm not sure if heartbleed effected us but you should probably not change your password, the jitterbug gang are working hard and they need …

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Post by V Wed May 06, 2009 11:00 am

Please post all forms here :)

Medium (What you do most of) :[/b]
How long have you been writing? :
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Code:
[b]Medium[/b] (What you do most of) [b]:[/b]
[b]How long have you been writing? :[/b]
[b]Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :[/b]

Will be editing in this color.
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Post by Flaw of Insanity Wed May 06, 2009 11:20 am

Hell, why not just get approved ^_^

Medium (What you do most of) : Short stories
How long have you been writing? : Since RP thread I guess.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Stories... Pfft! What good could they do? Did little for me, just all false hope. Thats what a story is, false hope to grant ones mind into a world where good always wins, where no matter what the good guy survives in the end. If life...was only JUST like that, I think I would find a reason for stories. IF a story was worth telling, because it told a story of how life really worked, I would tell it. Being approached and asked to tell a story seems like a insult to me. But am I not doing it now? Well, I could say yes I was, but then I would be a hypocrite. Stories...what good have they done? The last story I told ended with someone close getting hurt. Because of a story, I have blood on my hands.

Because of a story...I have murdered.


I know it sounds a bit emo but I'm kinda into the sort of mind freak story things. It also makes a great intro to a story (<.<), although I may not have time to write anything else.

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Post by Juliana Wed May 06, 2009 12:36 pm

Ooh aah! It's happened, it's happened! I love you

Medium (What you do most of) : Stories. Some short, some not so much.
How long have you been writing? : ...Would you believe me if I said "all of my life?" Because I remember telling a story at the age of two. And I've been recording them for about five years.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : I stood at the edge of the cliff, wondering if it would be such a good idea to jump. My mother's words echoed in my head: Your lives are precious. Keep them as safe as you would if you only had one. My own voice cut in here, continuing the remembered conversation. But didn't you give up your first one when you were only a little older than I am now? And she had sighed, Yes. I was new to the fighting arts, but your Aunt Mara was in danger, so I stepped in to protect her. It cost me my first life. And remember this, when you are tempted to risk a life: your body does not want to give up your soul. Dying is painful, and it's terrifying. I pray that you do not have to find this out for yourself to soon.

"What's the matter, Scout? Don't you really have nine lives, or are you just bluffing?"

I turned to face my classmate. "I am a true Ninelives, true enough that I will not undertake such a boneheaded task. My mother is thirty-five years old, and she still has seven of her lives left to her. Nothing less than the risk of a friend's life prompted her to give up the two she has lost. Now, you can believe me or not, however you choose, but I will not do what you asked."

((Author's Note: Sorry, I couldn't stop myself. It's two hundred and fifty words; is that okay? Anyway, I feel like I need to explain the situation. This is based off of a book I'm writing, sort of a look into what life will be like in the world of twenty-two years later. The speaker here is seven-year-old Mayella Violet "Scout" Ninelives Harrison, daughter of the book's hero, Rebekah Ninelives Ells, and one of the other characters R9L (Rebekah9Lives) meets on her first adventure, namely Connor Lightpaws Harrison. R9L actually describes a crucial event from the book in Scout's memory conversation from the first paragraph. If I hadn't tried to limit how long I wrote, I'd have shown Scout using her magic, too.))


Approved


Last edited by Admin on Wed May 06, 2009 10:39 pm; edited 3 times in total
Juliana
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Post by Winnie Wed May 06, 2009 6:10 pm

Medium (What you do most of) :[/b] Shortiesh Stories that end up kinda long.
How long have you been writing? : Since... er... hmm... 5 years ago?
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Winnie walked down the stairs to the inn. Usually everything was normal... people behind the bar and such. Today it was empty. Nothing. She walked across the room to the door and looked out. Empty. "Hmm.." she said, as she stepped out the door, greeted by the morning sunshine. She suddenly realised it: Everyone had gone to mobius! She put on her DeathKnight* armor and ran out of the inn, trying to figure out which way Mobius was. Yesterday a messanger had come by from King Alteon annaouncing "That All Abled Adventurers Should Immedialtely Go To Mobius; For Furthur Announcement." She ran up to teh teleporter in BattleOn, and still breathing hard, arrived in Mobius. That was apparently where 90% of the town was. She pushed through crowds and crowds of people, only to find more. Suddenly she heard a farmilliar voice call out her name. Whom? She could not remember. People, shouting, all around her. Eventually she pushed out, on the other side of town. Only then did she realise that there were two people standing, one with pale skin and a red dress, the other with blue hair and he was glowing. She instantly knew one- Renn. She had seen that face long ago. Before...

*Yes, DeathKnight. You'll understand when it's done.

My stories won't have astrics (*) when their done. These are explanations.

Approved
Winnie
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Post by Alderos Wed May 06, 2009 6:25 pm

Medium (What you do most of) :[/b]Well i mostly will do poems and stories.
How long have you been writing? :ive been writing since about the First grade
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Life is a cruel person,
You may love life ,
but get nothing in return but
hatred,
But when life has made everything at its absolute worse,
It decides to come along and help
make things for the better.

Approved
Alderos
Alderos
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Post by V Wed May 06, 2009 10:39 pm

You are all approved, congrats! You may now post in the Word Gallery section.
V
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Post by Pyronix Thu May 07, 2009 7:51 am

Medium (What you do most of) :[/b]Poems
How long have you been writing? :about 6 years. XD
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
here is a short poem that I want to make as a wallpaper.

This world,
so cruel,
where evils rule,
full of sorrow,
full of hate,
maybe change tomorrow,
buts its to late.

however

in the dark,
among the gloom,
a spark,
something blooms.
Imagination,
our brightest light,
join the nation,
use art to burn,
and burn bright.

Am I multi artistic or what?XD

If its to short I have more.

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Post by zandore Thu May 07, 2009 8:14 am

nice poem/story/thing :D
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Post by V Thu May 07, 2009 9:24 am

Zandore, this is the approval thread, as much as we appreciate your comment please do not post it on this thread. Thanks! :)


Last edited by Admin on Fri Jun 12, 2009 4:16 am; edited 1 time in total
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Post by Salatihel Sat May 09, 2009 11:30 am

What do you want the most?: To rule the world
How long have you been writing?:Since i was 12 , i have won many poem contest
Example:
Our real mother.

Holy mother
Holy queen
Protect our dreams
and saves us from sins

The light shines upon your eyes
The sky is bright when you smile
whenever i need
your always whit me

Our God so your face
Pure , simple and perfect
To go to heaven im ready
However , i am steady!

i write poems since twelve
i am a man since then
You know you will save us
You know the you will rule!

I am praying while living
I am eating while thinking
i must be typing and being hyper
and sleep growing harder

After in the morning the sun shines
Suddenly all the kids while magically rise
and pray to the mother of God
the one that gives us love

THIS IS SPARTA! i yelled
THIS IS MADNESS! leonidas said
I was thinking in my holy mother
The one whit many names

Every religion whit their style
Every religion whit their believes
I will always protect my mother
for the evil that not shall win

This is an insane poem
That came from the bottom of my hearth
i wrote this whit emotion
i wrote this whit out disruptions



Not approved, its a good poem but capitalize your I's, and Whit is With, not whit. Simple stuff like that.
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Post by Rage Sun May 10, 2009 1:15 pm

Medium (What you do most of) : Anything that comes to mind; I do it all.
How long have you been writing? : Ever since I learned the English language after I moved to the United States.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Heart pounding would be an understatement. I mean, if fears and anxiety could materialize themselves into a scent, its pungency would have overpowered the billowing plumes of sulfur gases escaping the ruptures of the earth. Another tremor shook the ground; rocks beneath me began to roll, seemingly dancing to the vibrations of the mountain, before they began their plunge down the side of the ravine.

Losing my balance, I knelt down beside a porous rock while I steadied myself against the aftershock. Although I found support from this monolith, my hands, in their desperate search, only found the unforgiving edges of glass-coated holes. The pain turned out to be negligible; my ears were throbbing from the air compressions, setting in a migraine that impeded any instinctual thoughts set on survival.

So I ran. One foot pounded the ground before the other followed suit. What could only be described as a desperate race against the inevitable, my feet flew like the bats escaping from hell, chased by the burning hound nipping at my very being.

******g volcano...

Note: Actually a true story from my life. =/

Approved
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Post by Judge ZYellowFlash Mon May 11, 2009 5:42 am

Medium (What you do most of) :Poems
How long have you been writing? :Since I was in first grade
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

In the old autumn tree I hear a sound
a sound of prayers.
As the leaves drop they sway by the wind never
ending the path of the beginning, but as I hope
it becomes motionless my hope vanishes to the deep abyss.
It falls like a shard of a pain of misery and despair.
Eventully it stops consuming the pain and suffering as the leaves
touch the ground.
A dew comes from the air as it ends the battle

(A poem about me not wanting autumn to go..)

Approved



Note:Won my school competition
Judge ZYellowFlash
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Post by Mash Sun May 17, 2009 1:18 am

Medium (What you do most of): Stories and poems...
How long have you been writing: Literally? Since I was five. Poems and such? Since I was twelve.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Should the end of the world unravel,
men will become more than men.
Men will gain power like nothing else.

And should the end of the world unravel,
super-beings will rise.
Still, not defined by otherworldly power,
super-beings will thrive.

Thus, should the end of the world unravel,
a new dawn of chaos will live,
and super-beings will be born; they will die cruelly
by men more than men.
Death, all by the power of diplomatic relations.

Note: You might not get it. A lot of people might not get it, but it's a poem for a story I'm writing. It's giving a "heaven's view" (basically) of the world as it's* going on. I wish I could tell you more, but I can't.
*The plot

Approved
Mash
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Post by Ryzaa Sun May 17, 2009 7:08 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Anything really...
How long have you been writing? : All my life :p
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Today was going to be a good day, I could just feel it. Jake thought to himself as he pulled on his clothes.
Today was his 14th birthday.
He never really wanted a party, but his parents insisted.
"Fourteen years old son, it's a big thing" his father had told him.
Jake didn't think it as such a big thing, but he knew he was going to enjoy the party.
His mother was cooking downstairs; Jake could smell his birthday cake as he walked past the kitchen.
He walked outside, where he was approached by his father and his little sister Sarah. "We thought we would give you our gift before your friends arrive," said his father as he handed Jake his new phone (he wanted it ever since he saw it). Jake’s sister gave him a card that she had made herself; Jake thought it was pretty good considering she was only eight. When his mother came out with a package, in the package: clothes (typical).
Jake thanked them and walked over to his grandfather, who had been sitting in his chair on the veranda the whole time.
"What is that, grandpa?"
"This", and he handed Jake The Box.

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Post by Cial Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:53 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Short stories/small books.
How long have you been writing? : Since I COULD write, I "Suffer" from overactive imagination.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Floss stepped to the top of the hill, a lightning storm over the snow-capped mountains on the other side that revealed the secret of DragonRunes, The valley that showed the immense power thrusting in his birthmark. He touched the burn, it glowed blue. Just below he saw the sleeping village at about 11:00 at night. He leaned over to catch a better view of the town, as he did, the ledge below his feet crumbled, and he was thrown down the mountain to the edge of the town, he awoke and read the sign “Battleon” That couldn't be right, he had seen on his map this was “Tibattleonia” suddenly nothing was quite right. He couldn't believe what happened. How could his ancestors be so clueless as to misname a town? Could he have stumbled into some alternate reality? And most importantly WHERE was he? These questions swirled in his mind, as they did, he gripped the rune on his belt “To FalconReach” He whispered, and he was off. Back in his home town, he froze. He needed help, he needed a TEAM to help him solve the mystery. But first, he called his dragon, Valor. Rune travel was to be used sparingly, it could damage TIME itself.

Approved.
Cial
Cial
I am your mother

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Post by Pooks Sat Jun 13, 2009 2:10 pm

Medium (What you do most of) : Journal, editing, scientific research papers, scholarly articles, technical writing, short stories, reviews and a bit of poetry.
How long have you been writing? :Since you were in diapers. Maybe before that.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

From a philosophical essay I wrote in 2003:
I realized I could not quietly fall into line, swallowing half-truths and regurgitating them so I could get my degree and go on with life. At the same time, I could not cocoon myself in dogma, rejecting outright all the theories and ideas that did not align precisely with my worldview, or I would be just as close-minded as my instructors. It took me a few years to find the right balance of learning contemporary views, and how to ask questions that discerned weaknesses in key arguments. I needed to look for proven strategies for avoiding a confrontational or accusatory position--this would antagonize professors, and thus impede the flow of ideas and information. The description of enthymemes and how to refute them, in Aristotle’s Rhetoric, (143, ch. 1, sec 25) was helpful, because I could use it to examine scientific claims without coming from a religious stance. I also had to educate myself about what the ancient Church wrote concerning the history of the earth, biological concepts and the laws of nature. Interpretations of the ancient world were suspect, but modern interpretations of observed phenomena could be questioned, and in some cases, refuted, using the very tools of science: empirical evidence, deductive and inductive reasoning, and logic. With this realization came a leveling of the playing field, in which both Orthodoxy and Darwinism were just two philosophies, each with their own creed, dogma and rhetoric. Separating empirical facts and logical deductions from scientific ideas that required some sort of leap of faith was the most important step in finding what I could accept and what I had to treat with some reserve.

~Admin~
Very nice Pooks, your very skilled, but you didn't really need to get approved xD
Anyways,
Approved.
Pooks
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Post by Aeonarial Mon Jun 29, 2009 12:26 pm

Medium (What you do most of) :Short stories, Manga word renditions, scripts, and virus writing
How long have you been writing? :I have been writing since 2nd grade, but I have been making stories since I was 7.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
I looked behind me as I ran down the hallway, gasping for breath, heart pounding in my chest. 'How could he have found me here? This is supposed to be protected!!' Suddenly, as I turned back to watch where I was going, I tripped, and fell face first onto the hard, cold pavement. As I scrambled to get up, I felt a sudden chill creep along my body. With warm blood gushing out of my nose and down my face I looked up into my follower's eyes.

“Give it to me." said a voice that reminded me of wet, moldy wood and the breaking of bones. "I-I do not have it any longer" I replied. "Then you shall show me all that you know of its location!" I watched in horror as the figure, which I just noticed was wearing a long black cloak, reached out with a hand that was only bones and had a strange, red mist flowing around it. As the hand neared my head I suddenly felt a sharp pain behind my eyeballs, and I knew no more.

When I finally came to I looked around my surroundings first with fear, then with curiosity. The cave I was in, for it was a cave, was covered in flowers and looked like a girl lived there, not the strange thing that tried to kill me however long ago. There was a noise behind me and I quickly turned around to see a woman there with a sword right at my throat. “Now that you are up, Stranger, why don’t you tell me why Death himself was chasing you.” The strange woman whispered with a deadly calm voice.

Approved! I find a few errors, but this is above average. Your use of punctuation is good, but kick it up a notch still--new paragraphs with quotations, beware of using too many qualifier commas (as in "When I finally...") and re-read for missing words: You felt a sharp what behind your eyeballs? I can see you're capable of good work; we look forward to seeing more of it from you! ~Pooks


Last edited by Aeonarial on Fri Sep 25, 2009 6:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
Aeonarial
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Brother/Artist/Writer

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Post by Charon Mon Jul 06, 2009 12:06 pm

Medium:
Extended Stories.
How long have you been writing:
I haven't been writing but for a year or so, but I have been dreaming up, tearing down, and recreating ideas for stories in my mind for my entire life.

Example:
A dark, foggy night. Slinking silently through the dense foliage, I keep my eyes trained on Iden. Since he is on his way to gather herbs by the moonlight, he suspects nothing, fears nothing. His lethargic gait makes it childs' play to match his pace. Only a few more minutes until his downfall and my freedom.
I find myself running over the plan in my mind over and over again. I know I'm ready. I just can't fathom how I progressed so quickly. A few years back, I wouldn't have even imagined that I could do what I was about to do; I wouldn't have even considered it as an option. After all, this man had saved me from certain death when my family was assassinated. How could I even think of killing him?
No. I must go through with this. He doesn't understand my nature; he could never come to terms with my involvement with the element of darkness. Therefore, he must die, so I may finally be free. It is the only way.


I would like to know how long you have been Storytelling, you show great potential (as Rage would say xD)
I didn't pick up any mistakes in your work at all, everything is... great.
Approved!
~Ry
Charon
Charon
Charbear!

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Post by Javiersito2 Wed Jul 15, 2009 12:37 pm

Medium (What you do most of) :I like to write Short story's and some poems.
How long have you been writing? :Well, I came to the USA in 2005 so I basicly write English since then but In Spain my HomeCountry, I started writing since i was 5
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Sailing on a boat in the violent sea, and looking up to the sky. I stumble upon an unmapped island where my journey begins. It has been 4 day's since my ship crashed on the island and my men are dead, I'm out of supplies and I don't know where to go. While scouting the island, I found a log that I carved with my Knife to hollow it for shelter. It took me 3 day's of non stop seeking to find enough wood to build my campsite but when I finally did it, I had a wooden cabin and right outside, a beautiful campfire that glowed like a star. After 50 day's of living in the island, A ship spotted me and took me to their captain, he jailed me and put me in a cell for 5 years until finally, a motherland ship rescued me from this neverending nightmare. And so on went my life, full of adventures and unforgettable nightmares and finally, my nightmares ended when I was given a fortune of money from the town that reconned my adventures and so on, I finally lived a life full of ritches and joy.

The End

P.S. I just made up this story, I was inspired by thinking of Alpha Pirate.

You made quite a few errors (should be 4 days, not day's/knife is capitalized when it shouldn't be.). However, it's your descriptions (unforgettable nightmares/glowed like a star) that really get me. Just promise to work on your punctuation and storytelling skills; you seem kind of weak in those areas.
Approved
+Mash+



I will :)
Javiersito2
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Post by Reowulf Thu Jul 23, 2009 8:09 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Short stories, poems
How long have you been writing? :I can recall writing a short story when I was six.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Small excerpt from a short story I wrote last Summer)

As we unloaded the cargo, I realized that there is a certain satisfaction and sense of confidence when a man treads upon firm, unmoving earth. Being at sea for so long, my legs were accustomed to battling with the rocking deck of our vessel, constantly shifting to stay upright. The absence of steady footing was a great annoyance during those months at sea. I am not a sailor.

Our cargo was not especially large, but the men were eager to rest. After we had unloaded the remainder of the cargo, the slaves were ordered to transport the load inland under the supervision of a few unlucky, grumbling sailors. The rest of us were allowed to go into town. We arrived just as the sun was passing below the horizon. The dark, wet streets of Lolosia were fairly quiet, especially for a seaside town. Gibet’s Pub, however, was a loud, riotous establishment; a haven for the local roughnecks, sailors, and rogues.

The pub quieted a bit upon our entrance and the less drunken customers eyed us suspiciously. Captain Hobbes bought a round of the house ale for everyone present, which resulted in the local crowd quickly becoming more affable hosts. I might have remained with the company longer, but a soft straw bed upstairs was calling to me, and my weary body eagerly obliged its beckon.
I cannot recall the subject of my dreams, that night.


Amazing...really. You are a wonderful writer! I can't wait to read more.
Approved
+Mash+
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Post by Ryzaa Thu Aug 13, 2009 2:12 pm

Kagearshi got my approval, he has proven himself to be an amazing writer.
I'm sorry Mash, I would have told you, but... timezones did not allow that.


Very well. :-P
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Post by Exodius Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:20 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Poetry.
How long have you been writing? : A few months.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Destiny is an odd thing, for it distorts the path you want to go,
For thou could morph from a fortunate fate to a maliciously unfortunate one.
With this, I am aware that anyone's fate is not chosen by them, but by fate incarnate.
Due to the realization of this, I know I could be the one to help the world in its time of need in any way,
Or malevolently destroy it and throw it into havoc coldly and heartlessly.
I know naught of what my fate shall be,
Nor such of anyone else,
Yet however, I know that since the dawn of time,
Fate has never been chosen for us,
Nor can we supposedly change it,
Despite the fact that people say it is supposedly possible,
I know for certain that my destiny,
Whatever content it may contain lying for me in the wait,
I will accept it,
And you should, also, for no one's destiny may be altered, despite facts stating the opposition of that.


.:Juliana:.
That's very impressive, and very deep. I say it's approved.


Already approved him over chatbox. xD But okay.

.:Juliana:.
Mash, the problem with approving people by cbox is that not everyone knows that it happens. This is nice and public and removes all doubt from anyone's mind.


Uh-huh. Tell that to Ry too.

Uhm.. That's why you post a note?
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Post by Chiyuki Sun Aug 23, 2009 4:19 am

Medium (What you do most of) : short stories
How long have you been writing? : About a year or two I suppose. I've been more serious about it the past few months though.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
The summer sun is a double edged sword. It can bring happiness and gorgeous tans or sunburn and skin cancer. For a teenaged girl slouching in a computer chair aimlessly wandering the world wide web on her laptop it was a factor of immense irritation. It glared at her through her bedroom window as sweat began trickle down the back of her neck. She had nothing better to do that day but veg out in front of her computer. All of her friends were still in summer school and the surf down at the beach that day was lame. So there she sat melting away from the lack of air conditioning.

"I really need to get those blinds back up. I guess Mom was right wooden swords don't belong in small bedrooms." she thought as web page after web page flickered by and ultraviolet rays beamed down on her.

For several minutes nothing happened until...
"GAH! THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO THAN THIS!" she shouted waving her arms about.

Her stomach lurched in horror when her left arm caught her laptop and sent it flying off the desk. Swearing loudly she jumped across the room to retrieve it. After grabbing the computer she flopped down onto her bed and glanced at the screen. It was then that something interesting caught her eye. An advertisement at the left-hand side of the screen flashed "Adventure Quest Worlds" in bold golden letters.

"This could be interesting." she thought clicking on the link.

The add took her to an interesting looking MMORPG site. It looked fairly new and the art work was good. She moved the cursor over over to the button designated for creating a new account.

"Might as well give it a shot." the girl muttered clicking her mouse and entering a menu for character creation.

"I might have some fun today after all." she thought as she began to create a female rogue avatar.

"Hm...screen name....what should I put..." she bit her tongue and mulled over the matter for a few moments before typing in the name "Chiyuki".

.:Winnie:.
I don't know if I can even approve, but if I could I'd say yes....


.:Juliana:.
I KNOW I can approve. To remove any lingering doubts... Approved.
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Post by Katherine Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:09 pm

Medium: Fanfics with OCs? I could also do Fantasy... But I'm bad at original, not generic, stuff.
How long have you been writing? : Bleah... As long as I've been RolePlaying (X3)
Example:

"I guess I'm screwed... Remind me never to enter a room in the school after being chased around by a horde of creatures trying to take a bite out of me..." Karien thought to herself, sandwiched between two groups of mumblers. "But then, why did I even enter the school? Right... I wanted to stalk him for no apparant reason... but seriously... Why am I the one who's getting surrounded all the time? Is it the fact that they want me to knock myself out trying to best those mumblers? Or could it be that history is repeating itself again? Ughz... Fine... Whatever... I just hope he does not see me..."

Karien then lets loose her power, letting her darker side take over, the bandages on her wrist extends wraps around her hand and those on the lower half of her neck seemingly crawls up the upper part of her neck and starts covering the lower half of her face loosely. Her muscles tensed as she waited for them to get even closer before unleashing hell upon them, shredding those that got too close. Her full fury unleashes against them as her mind starts to become blurry.
As the last mumbler falls, Karien saw nothing as she blacked out and dropped to the ground.

(Word Count: 218)

(Yeah, I cheated on the second paragraph and copy pasted it from the fanfic I'm doing since it's quite the same...X3 But Kage is the only one here who has actually read the draft, other than some of the other OCs in it who are not from this forum, which I'll be uploading just to get comments on it (I'm sure Mash will kill me 10 times over due to this Fanfic. Maybe even more when he reads a certain part...). It's incomplete and may contain typos and errors, but I do not have Word and cannot do a full grammar or a spellcheck (Online Spellcheckers... are just not trustworthy...)... It's also going to take awhile to even finish it as I'm very, vewy lazy. *Is currently doing 500 words per week max on a good mood.* And if you are wondering, WordPad only... I'm copy pasting it here without bold and italics due to the fact that I would have to do them over and over when I update the version here to the current one. Yes, that actually shows my laziness.
If you prefer, I could do another example in a fantasy setting with my original RP character as the main character.

Oh and BTW, I'm not going to add in the joke that the creatures can't enter rooms even when they are right behind the Protagonist when she/he opens the door and dashes into the room. And yes, The fanfic spots are all full... Don't even bother to PM me about wanting in... It's hard enough trying to do 6 OCs based on friends...)


.:Juliana:.
No, your concept is just fine. The only problems I can see are a couple of typos and that you're switching back and forth between past and present tense. Fix those and you'll be golden.

Approved.
Katherine
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Post by Banned Wed Sep 02, 2009 12:56 am

Question. Does the story have to do with DragonFable Or Aqworlds or so on, Because i only have one that fits into the Dragonfable, Aqworlds saga and its 2000 words long but i have tons of others that our 200 or less or around that. Please answer this question thank you.

~Enraged~
It can be anything you want as long as it's readable and presentable.
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