Your Jokes

by Celestial Messenja Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:06 pm

Give us your best one.

by Zedman Mon Dec 08, 2008 1:18 pm

Hmm...Chuck Norris can keep his eyes open when he sneezes?

by Kaotic Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:30 pm

pfft...lol

blonde: i know all the capitals of australia, test me
friend: Queensland
blonde: Q

this joke is not to be taken offensively

by DarkRoseGoddess Mon Dec 08, 2008 3:42 pm

*wipes spit off face* next time use a handkerchief Kaotic...xD

One night a drunk man sat in a bar, talking to his friend. His friend was astonished that his left ear was red and swollen, covered with boils. "Why is your ear in a bad state?" he asked, then the man replied, "I dunno...my telephone just rang and I picked up the holder." The friend was more confused and asked why, then the drunk replied, "Well it appears that the telephone holder is actually the iron."

It was supposed to be funny...but after what I said it is not funny anymore. =P

by rydrew1 Mon Dec 08, 2008 11:26 pm

I have no jokes im so lame :(

OH! wait Which famous celebrity has the most children in ten years?
Michael Jackson lol!

JK mj is cool alien

by DarkRoseGoddess Tue Dec 09, 2008 9:30 am

A burglar managed to escape from the prison. As he ran out to the city, he shouted, "I'm free! I'm free!" A little boy walked past and heard him, then he chirped in," That's nothing. I'm four!"

by **Flaw of Insanity** Tue Dec 09, 2008 10:26 am

George Bush was doing a questions and answers at a pre-school and most of the questions were very basic. One little boy asks, "What is your favorite color?" Another asks "What is your dog's name?".

One boy puts his hand up and George Bush asks, "Now, whats your name little boy?" The boy says "It's little Jimmy sir". GB asks, "Ok, whats your question?" The boy says, "Actually, I've got 3 sir." "Well ok, lets hear them." says GB.

"Question 1: Why did you win the election when the person oposing you got more votes?
Question 2: Do you think dropping the atom bomb on hiroshima is the biggest act of terrorism ever?
Question 3: Why did you invade iraq when they proved they have no weapons of mass destruction?"

GB says, "Well, those are some good questions..."
Then a morning tea bell goes.

After morning tea, the kids keep asking the easy questions, but then a boy puts his hand up.

George Bush asks, "Now, whats your name little boy?" The boy says "It's little Bobby sir". GB asks, "Ok, whats your question?" The boy says, "Actually, I've got 5 sir." "Well ok, lets hear them." says GB.

"Question 1: Why did you win the election when the person oposing you got more votes?
Question 2: Do you think dropping the atom bomb on hiroshima is the biggest act of terrorism ever?
Question 3: Why did you invade iraq when they proved they have no weapons of mass destruction?
Question 4: Why did the morning tea bell go 15 minutes early?
Question 5: Where's Little Jimmy?

by V Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:03 am

Why did the chicken cross the road?

George bush: The chicken needs to decide which side she's going to be on. She's either with us or against us.

Barrack obama: The chicken crossed the road because she wants change! She wants to change the side of the road she's on!

Dick Cheney: Where's my gun?

This joke isn't suppose to be offensive to anyone.

by Soili Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:12 am

Knock Knock!

by V Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:15 am

Who's there

by Caeel Tue Dec 09, 2008 11:24 am

knock knock!!

by **Ryzaa** Tue Dec 09, 2008 12:45 pm

Who's there?

by rydrew1 Wed Dec 10, 2008 12:02 am

Whos there! >_<

by **Rage** Wed Dec 10, 2008 1:49 am

An arctic seal walks into a club.

Ha.

by Saiyuki Thu Dec 11, 2008 4:13 am

Two leprechauns walked into a nunnery, one was really serious, the other laughing. The two of them walked past the pews and up to a nun at the alter. The serious leprechaun asked the nun,

"Sister, are there any leprechaun nuns in your Nunnery?"

The sister replied, "No, there are no leprechaun nuns in my Nunnery, now can you please leave?"

The two leprechauns left the nunnery, looking more serious and laughing even harder than before.

The following day, the two leprechauns were back. The serious one looked even more serious, and the laughing one was laughing even harder. The two of them found the same nun from yesterday and the serious one asked her,

"Sister, are there any leprechaun nuns in all of Dublin?"

The sister shook her head and said, "There are no leprechaun nuns in Dublin, now please leave."

The two leprechauns left the nunnery.

The next day the both of them were back. The serious leprechaun looked incredibly serious and the laughing one was laughing so hard he had troubles breathing. The two of them made their way back to the nun and the serious one asked her,

"Sister, are there any leprechaun nuns in all of the world?"

The nun shook her head and said, "No, there are no leprechaun nuns in all of the world, now please stop asking me these stupid questions."

As the two leprechauns were leaving, the laughing one stopped laughing, caught his breath and looked to the serious one and said,

"Face it Shamus, you shtooped a penguin."

by Celestial Messenja Thu Dec 11, 2008 9:19 am

ragegamer wrote:An arctic seal walks into a club.

Ha.

LOL!

by Guest Thu Dec 11, 2008 10:12 am

ok sooooooooo

whats the diffrence between chopped beef and pea soup.......any one can chop beef but no one can pee soup

heres my best

there were 2 pies in an oven and 1 pie says to the other pie its hot in here. the other pie says WOAH A TALKING PIE

by DarkRoseGoddess Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:56 am

Q : What starts with a t, is full with t and ends with a t?

A : A teapot.

by Kaotic Thu Dec 11, 2008 11:58 am

lol heres one (seriously its not rude)

what starts with F and ends in UCK

F-iretr_UCK (firetruck)

by Caeel Sun Dec 14, 2008 4:30 am

You throw away the outside then eat the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What is it?

by Survivor217 Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:20 am

This one may be a bit long...

Once upon a time, there were three guys eating lunch together.

GUY 1: *Opens up lunch* Darn! Ham and Cheese again! If I get Ham and Cheese again, I'll jump off the Empire State Building! :x

GUY 2: *Opens up lunch* Darn! Salami and Pickles again! If I get Salami and Pickles again, I'll jump off the Empire State Building! :x

GUY 3: *Opens up lunch* Darn! Peanutbutter and Jelly again! If I get Peanutbutter and Jelly again, I'll jump off the Empire State Building! :x

The next day....

GUY 1: *Opens up lunch* Darn! Ham and Cheese again! Off I go! *Jumps off the Empire State Building and dies*

GUY 2: *Opens up lunch* Darn! Salami and Pickles again! Off I go! *Jumps off the Empire State Building and dies*

GUY 3: *Opens up lunch* Darn! Peanutbutter and Jelly again! Off I go! *Jumps off the Empire State Building and dies*

The next day, their wives find out about the "incident"....

WIFE 1: Oh, if only I knew I would have packed him something different! *sobs* Crying or Very sad