Consider This An SOS

by **Juliana** Sun Nov 08, 2009 5:06 am

I've been depressed a lot lately, and I just need to get it out...

I feel like a monster, forever making yet another mistake and hurting my friends. I can't talk to people without either thinking I've offended them or actually offending them, and I can't keep my feelings bottled up!

I need help, though I'm scared...

by **Rage** Sun Nov 08, 2009 7:26 am

I don't mind lending an ear if you'd like for someone to listen. A friend can make a person who is the thick of it all see the perspective view of the total situation, which can help get a grasp on the little things bugging you in your life.

Go ahead, send that pm or post her if you like. I'm willing to help.

by **Ryzaa** Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:34 am

I'd like to second that of which Rage said, though I could not have said it as well as he put it... We're here for you Juli.

by Caeel Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:35 am

I'll 3rd it! We're all here for each other!

by **Icey** Sun Nov 08, 2009 9:39 am

Indeed :D

by Kaotic Mon Nov 09, 2009 2:04 am

I'll hear you out Juli.. I should probably listened more when I see you on Nythera
Sure I couldn't put it the way Rage did, i'll 2.5 it!
And Juli Juli Juli ^_^^ I'll yell you one thing, you defiantly do not disappoint me or offend me in anyway, hope it goes soon so we can snork around again^_^^ *huggles*

by **Juliana** Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:04 am

Thanks, y'all, I feel so cared-about now.

And the top ten reasons I'm so down are these:

1. I fell in love over AQW... and then last Friday the guy told me he loves me too much to keep dating me.
2. The guy in question has no Internet access for eleven days a fortnight.
3. I can sense the future sometimes, and I'm getting the feeling I'm going to die soon.
4. I'm probably sick with something...
5. I'm exhausted all the time (probable result of being sick)
6. I'm hungry all the time but can't eat (probable result of being sick)
7. Despite all of the above, I still have to go to school and keep up with my assignments.
8. I keep thinking that I've said something incredibly offensive to my friends.
9. I'm a teenager with Asperger's Syndrome; a lot of us get depressed.
10. I left my social life back in Virginia.

by **Winnie** Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:09 am

*Finds social life and mails it to Juli*

Herre ya go!

*opens box and finds a phone.*

Call me anytime- I am not offended. (Unless it's like, 9 there, where it's like 11 here...* please don't call me... unless it's a dire need or somthing in which i'd be happy to help. Just... DOn't call and say "Hi, what's up? I was lonely."

I want to spend soem quality sleepy time...

Anywho. Listen to superchick. It makes me feel better. Oh, and rent. Rent, like, What you own, or another day, or our tonight... somthing upbeat...

*EDIT: 12:00, wow, time flies.

by **Cial** Tue Nov 10, 2009 8:10 am

My brother has Asperger's. He's in a special class at school and doesn't get home until around 4. He screams in class, hates being bossed around and told what to do. It's gotta suck, feeling like that all the time.

by **Pyronix** Thu Nov 12, 2009 7:30 pm

If I wanted to make a corny joke I could lock this and say something along the lines there's a thread here for this or this is way off the topic of randomness.....I could you know. XD

I feel fits of mild depression myself, sometimes for no reason. I just get this weird feeling in my stomach, sometimes after seeing a bum or watching an add for a child's fund service, other times just thinking about all the problems get hammered with on a weekly basis, and I feel like giving away everything I have and curing world hunger.

Never really thought about doing anything about it.

BtW ,no offense, but you are worrying way to much. If I had ever met you, I would probably consider you a very interesting person. However The sickness, future death, and offensive things should not be there, its pretty unhealthy to think like that.

Trust me, spend that day with a friend, go see a movies, fall asleep to the music of some happy goodie to shoes music group, and you'll feel better in a few weeks, or maybe not.

If you spent the day with me and brought along a gallon of pepsi and a tazer I guarantee I could cross a few things off that list in a few hours.

Wow, that's a long ramble, even for me. I guess in the end, try not to dwell on such things as impending death, use logic. Even if you did think that feeling were true, could you do anything about it if you don't don't know how?

I can see how the 'condition' leads to you're current state though, I've had to bail out a best friend with the same medical condition, but he's fine now. If you want, I'll give you his email, he could help you out.

Sorry Pyro, she doesn't like the 'dis' word

by Kaotic Fri Nov 13, 2009 2:22 am

Agreed with Pyro a bit on some stuff, like thinking about Death Juli, isn't that good for your mental part of you.. I know all it takes is a good friend or tow to get you happy, whaddya know, I got you too snork twice last night/day!! How long has it been 'till you snorked? You just need to spend some time with more of your friends [like me ;)] to take your mind off of it.
Have you seen the doctor yet? Maybe even a naturopath (they always worked better than doctors for me) because I hope it goes away soon D:
Hope you get better soon
~ love kao ^_^^

by **Erik** Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:42 am

Alright first of all, I see the future sometimes too, in my dreams. Its rather odd really, and only comes true half of the time. Don't believe in what you sense, I myself don't believe in it unless I know something is wrong.

Secondly, you have a great social life online, look at all the friends you have in TR! Just bring that sense of humor to your life outside of the computer.

Thirdly, you sleep better and have more energy if you exercise regularly, I learned in P.E. So that could help.

I have thought I could die before, mainly from this stomach problem where I eat and choke on food, and I know that I won't now because sometimes a problem is caused by just a little thing, like not chewing your food enough and taking too big of bites.

We all have some bad break ups, but you just need to move on. You can probably find someone much better.

I could tell you some ways to force yourself to eat, but that is probably a bad thing. Try to shift all of your hunger into your stomach, for example, I shifted mine into my brain a couple years ago, and get nasty headaches now, but I can sometimes shift it back into my stomach, which tricks my brain enough to eat.

Try to counter your depression with something happy, like good music or a piece of chocolate each day.

I really hope you feel better Juliana, and try to follow some of my tips, because they may sound psychotic, but they actually work. (Maybe)

And remember we are always here for you and can hear you out, and listen to you, don't bottle up your feelings.

P.S. Sometimes depression is caused by puberty :O

by **Juliana** Fri Nov 13, 2009 7:26 am

I feel a lot better reading this-all; y'all make me smile. Especially Winnie... *hugs her little sister maybe a bit too tight* ...and Kao... *tries not to say anything hilarious but offensive about his most recent post* ...and even Pyro... what exactly is it that you find so fun about a Tazer and a gallon of soda? (Lol.)

I really wish people like you weren't so hard to find IRL; I'm lucky to find one or two worthwhile friends in a year. Y'all are very worthwhile people to talk to... I'm a lot luckier than I'd usually tell you to have friends like I have on here.

by **Winnie** Fri Nov 13, 2009 7:28 am

Aww, Juli, Please... let... go...

*eyes bug out and tounge falls on chin*

Well, since you can't hug me anymore, Drew got hired... let's just say he doesn't hug as hard as you and I'm a bit off.

Well,

Remember. Good people are out there. They always are. Go find them- In RL!

by **Juliana** Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:00 pm

Consider this a desperate SOS.

I'm lonely and depressed most of the time now, and I'm not sure why. The saddest part is that I can put up a reasonable facade of the way I usually am, so my parents and the people I see IRL haven't guessed. I know that I should tell my parents, but I've already tried to tell them... when I don't mention suicide, they laugh me off as a drama queen, and when I do, they give me the same lecture I've heard a thousand times (I'm pretty sure my mom has four or five prepared speeches on common if-your-kids-ask topics, and by now I could probably recite along with her)... THEN laugh me off as a drama queen. Sometimes I'll be just fine, for days even, but then... it keeps coming back. I don't know what to do... I just need friends, and IRL they're in short supply.

by **Charon** Fri Dec 04, 2009 12:56 pm

You know, Juli...I suffer from what you're going through every now and then. And I'm not saying that I feel bad when I have a kind of bad day. I mean I have been to the point you have been, but I always find a reason for life, as hard as that is. Everyone here at TR obviously loves you, myself included. We may not see you IRL, but really, that can be a good thing! We know you for who you really are, not for what you look like, dress like, etc, and we still love you. You are an amazing person, and you don't deserve to feel this poorly about yourself. Think of all the things you are good at (writing, for example), all the things you have accomplished, all of the people whose lives you have influenced. Every person has a reason to live, and you are no exception.

Consider us your shoulder to cry on, your pillow to beat up, and your friends, IRL or not.

Love you Juli.

by **Winnie** Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:43 pm

We ALL love you, Juli.

We all love you so much if you ever need anyone to talk to you can call me, or amara, talk to us, and you can MAKE friends IRL! I'm shure there's a group you fit in in, and all you need is some cheers. It's almost the holidays. I'm shure you'll feel better soon.

by **Rage** Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:40 am

Juli, I never thought of you as being a coward. Suicide is the path of cowards. That is not you.

Have you thought about maybe volunteering at any local events at church or something? Maybe start getting involved in some after-school activities? Frick, there are many people here even on this forum who just let their emotions fly by writing it off in literature.

Maybe an MSN chat with one of the TR members that you are closest to would help as well. My friend actually talks to his girlfriend in Texas through MSN and Video Chat on a frequent basis even though they never get to see one another. That's another bond that you can attempt with a couple of people that you know on here. Heck, I wouldn't mind talking to a couple of TR Members myself (like Flaw, for instance. Good times on XBL, btw.).

Point is, life has a strange way of making things work in the end. A person could fall from grace in an instant after a catastrophe, and yet they will attempt to pick up the pieces and build a better tomorrow. Do you really want to give up that easily? Is that really the person behind the wonderful literature on the Word Gallery? Is that you?

You don't usually see me breaking my silence or jumping out of character like this. Trust me, you're worth more than you realize, even if it's not apparent yet. Remember the movie "The Butterfly Effect"? Every action, every connection, every relationship you've ever had has made a difference, whether it be large or small. Time and the Universe cannot pretend to look with a blind eye upon your existence because the world is inevitably changed by you simply "being". You cut your own influence short by curtailing your own time before it is due.

Now, my only question is this: Who are you, and what are you going to do about it?

by Deathclaws Sat Dec 05, 2009 2:40 am

You see, we all get depressed at times, especially in puberty. Its just natural in some obscure way, and this guy, an ocean removed from you, has the same problem on bad days. Hey, I don't know you like the other TR members here, all I can tell you: Life is somehow worth living. And if its just to write another story, recite another poem, or read another great book. Whenever I get depressed, I delve into the works of HP Lovecraft, lose myself in phrases, fantasies, an other world. Because it always passes, eventually, when the sun just rises again, casting a little light in a dark, seemingly rather miserable world. Or when you get a good mark back, something along those lines.

Also, all these answers alone ought to show you: People care. and as long as someone cares, theres something to exist for.

by **Winnie** Sat Dec 05, 2009 3:31 am

We live, we love,
we forgive,
and we never give up.
'Cause the days we are gived are gifts from above,
and today we remember to live and to love.

Superchick is inspiring- Try listening to some of their music. Music helps.

by **Juliana** Sun Dec 06, 2009 6:03 am

Thanks, y'all... it means so, so much to me that you would say these things. And I am desperate... I have so few friends IRL, because the following is my unfortunate situation:

I have far too much homework to do any volunteer work or attend any kind of meeting other than church. Outside of school and church, AQW and TR comprise the full extent of my social life; inside of school, there is almost no time to socialize, and I have only three friends there because the entire rest of the school considers me pretty much a sideshow freak. I used to hang out with other groups, but then discovered that they just wanted to laugh at me. This is not a new story for me, but I am utterly sick of it. This is unlikely to change until I move somewhere else. I used to put up with being an object of ridicule because I was so desperate for some kind of friendship, but I've figured out that it's worse that way.

I'm not going to kill myself; let me put that out there unambiguously. I'm not going to because so far, I'm more selfless than selfish. If I cared only about myself, I would absolutely kill myself, because I have such a hard time dealing with this world, and when I think about the future I only see it getting harder. But I'm not selfish enough to just give up. I know that if I did, I would hurt my friends... and that's why I need to know for sure that I do have friends...

by **Winnie** Mon Dec 28, 2009 6:41 am

Hey Guys, bad news for me...

Now I'm feeling all depressed. I don't know why, I'm getting all angsty and I want to accomplish somthing in my life and I think It's kinda unhealthy. I don't know. I had the same thing at the end of march and june. It makes me feel like i'm a little nothing in this entire world and I'm all depressed. Help!

by **Juliana** Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:18 pm

But you have Musetta's Waltz...

All facetiousness aside, Winnie... trust me, you're worth it. Accomplish something? You've already accomplished quite a bit. You were one of the friends that got me through the worst of my own depression (which will be officially over, by my count, as soon as I can get rid of the last of these suicidal impulses, and that is looking like a pretty achievable goal now), not to mention that you're an amazing artist, a promising writer, and a very good friend to plenty of us on here. Am I right, TR?

by Atriax Tue Dec 29, 2009 6:12 pm

Watch this.
If any of you know skyress, she had a similar problem. She watched this, and it cheered her up.
Motto of the story: When depressed, watch Monty python xD

P.S I'v never been in such a position, so I'm not entirely sure how to help. watching that'll cheer you up for sure :P

by **Winnie** Tue Dec 29, 2009 8:16 pm

Actually, you've managed to bring back a memory of me driving in the car with this playing... I have no idea why...

for some reason I associate it with a dark and very expensive forest.

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