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OUR DOMAIN IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE
Sun Apr 27, 2014 8:43 am by V
but I renewed it.
what have YOU done today, TR?
also I'm not sure if heartbleed effected us but you should probably not change your password, the jitterbug gang are working hard and they need …
what have YOU done today, TR?
also I'm not sure if heartbleed effected us but you should probably not change your password, the jitterbug gang are working hard and they need …
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A Question of Intrigue
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Which of these makes for the best introduction to a book?
A Question of Intrigue
I've been writing a story that I hope someday to publish, but I'm having trouble deciding which of the three beginnings I've played around with is the best. What do you think?
1. "It all started in the most bizarre way I could have ever imagined. I was nothing back then, just the outcast girl who spent all her time immersed in books. I wouldn’t have minded if they had paid no attention to me, but the nickname “Factory Reject” was a bit hard to take. Nevertheless, I did my best to ignore the snide comments and jeering looks. That had been the state of things for my entire school career. By the time I entered fifth grade, I was convinced that nothing would ever change. The first sign of how wrong I was came on the very first day. Although it was most certainly September, the weather was still nice enough that the teacher left the windows open."
2. "My name is Rebekah. I am called Ninelives by some. My story is one that I would never have thought possible. Thinking back on the time before I found my true purpose, I see now that I never really believed that I would have the chance to become anything more than a pariah. I thought I was weak. That was the one thing that I was most wrong about."
3. "I didn't need to look behind me to know what was there. They were always there, the same menacing figures that followed me whenever I had anything, anything at all, that I valued. Seven years of living--more like surviving, really--like this had taught me to recognize this instinctual knowledge.
"Of course, since I couldn't really act on them, it didn't matter whether I had those instincts or not."
1. "It all started in the most bizarre way I could have ever imagined. I was nothing back then, just the outcast girl who spent all her time immersed in books. I wouldn’t have minded if they had paid no attention to me, but the nickname “Factory Reject” was a bit hard to take. Nevertheless, I did my best to ignore the snide comments and jeering looks. That had been the state of things for my entire school career. By the time I entered fifth grade, I was convinced that nothing would ever change. The first sign of how wrong I was came on the very first day. Although it was most certainly September, the weather was still nice enough that the teacher left the windows open."
2. "My name is Rebekah. I am called Ninelives by some. My story is one that I would never have thought possible. Thinking back on the time before I found my true purpose, I see now that I never really believed that I would have the chance to become anything more than a pariah. I thought I was weak. That was the one thing that I was most wrong about."
3. "I didn't need to look behind me to know what was there. They were always there, the same menacing figures that followed me whenever I had anything, anything at all, that I valued. Seven years of living--more like surviving, really--like this had taught me to recognize this instinctual knowledge.
"Of course, since I couldn't really act on them, it didn't matter whether I had those instincts or not."
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Re: A Question of Intrigue
While I like all three of them, I prefer number three for these reasons:
-It makes me feel like I'm there; like I'm the one that they're watching, bringing with it a sense of reality to really start the story off right.
-It makes me wonder what/who the faces belong to, making me want to read more and find out. In short, it hooks me to your story.
-The use of the word surviving sets the scene for your character very nicely. It shows us their situation and how they percieve it.
Was that any help?
-It makes me feel like I'm there; like I'm the one that they're watching, bringing with it a sense of reality to really start the story off right.
-It makes me wonder what/who the faces belong to, making me want to read more and find out. In short, it hooks me to your story.
-The use of the word surviving sets the scene for your character very nicely. It shows us their situation and how they percieve it.
Was that any help?
Re: A Question of Intrigue
Yes, thanks. I wrote all of these to start the same story at different times, and every time I go back to look at an old one, it always looks a lot better than it did when I decided to use a different one. So I thought I'd ask for outside opinions.
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Re: A Question of Intrigue
Number three. I'm going to be very straight forward since you're going to publish this. Just coming out and saying who you are is boring and un original. The action scene is a nice plot hooking beginning an it's broad subject allows room for you really expand from there. It also allows you to really make the book unique. After the third I would pick the second, because it's bizarre beginning is very cool, and it makes me want to learn more on the character in it self, and its word choice is excellent, plus it sets the story up very nicely.
All in all I'd say the third, because it sets up the rest of the story very nicely.
All in all I'd say the third, because it sets up the rest of the story very nicely.
Re: A Question of Intrigue
I liked number one and three, but I voted 1 because it draws you into the story, and makes you want to keep reading. You want to know about the window, and what happened that day.
Erik- Soul Collector
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Re: A Question of Intrigue
I've been sort of waiting for someone to say what Erik did. He's right, you know; Version 1 pulls you straight into the surface plot with almost no exposition. However, I think Version 3 might ultimately be the best, because it gives you a more thorough idea of the other plot. And, since the other plot is actually the more important one, waiting a little longer before getting to the open window might not be a bad thing...
Any thoughts?
Any thoughts?
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
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