Feeling that you are useless?

Flaw of Insanity wrote:Its just the whole roleplay gaming thing, I try to keep it mostly secret from some of my friends, I have one who's not into that kinda stuff, when he kinda got the picture I was playing he kinda shrugged it off because its how I got artist, by playing this game, finding this guild and etc. etc. Its just you got to learn who actually shares your interests.

I am sorta the opposite.... I have a t-shirt! And it turns out 50 people in my school play AQ/MQ/AQW/DF so....

Try not to deviate from the subject of this thread guys. This isn't for flaming the people you hate in real life.

Earthx wrote:what have i done to be helpful every thing i do blows up in my face and make other ppl mad i have poor grammar im not strong or fast nor am i good at video games. i have yet to find a talent except being random which ppl hate. when i try to help ppl they get mad. im not real smart.

plz tell me how im useful in a positive manner (not just to make others feel better about them self)

Let's start with your statement above. Not every thing that you do blows up in your face. Did you get dressed? Did you feed your pet? Did you say goodbye to mum when you left for school? Did you go to school? Didi you sit in class? etc. etc. The Enemy tells us "Bah, that stuff doesn't matter, no-one cares about that, you're not gonna get rich or famous doing that! WHo cares? You loser!" Don't listen.

You don't make people mad every time you try to be helpful. Impossible. Give me an example, and 8 times out of 10 I can tell you why you either were not actually being helpful or why it wasn't your fault it didn't work out. I'll bet you I can, as long as it is a real example, and you are accurate in your description. You will have to use grammar to communicate effectively.

Ok. Here's a basic truth that most of us don't like, but there's not much we can do to change it.

Positive change is harder to make happen than negative change.



It's easier to hurt than to heal, easier to get out of shape than it is to stay in shape, easier to complain than to be thankful, harder to stay patient than to get impatient.
But one thing I know from experience: the more you make the effort, the easier it becomes.

If you are not very strong and you don't like that, do things to make you stronger.
If you aren't good at something and want to be better, practice and get instruction from someone who knows how.
If you have a hard time understanding hoow people feel or how to be empathetic to their needs, go to the library and get a book about nonverbal communication, empathy,, etc.
If you don't know what all is wrong and can't figure out what to do, got to the Self-Help section in the library and don't get distracted by the books about "adult interactions".

It TAKES WORK. IT TAKES EFFORT. AND IT'S WORTH THE EFFORT.

Do you think I type out all my sentences with proper syntax, grammar and spelling because it's easier to do so? Heck no! It takes longer, requires more thought, and takes much more effort.

BUT: I can communicate more effectively.I hardly ever say something I don't mean to say. I enjoy the full range of the expressiveness of the English language, one of the most complex and expressive languages in the world. People listen to what I say, partly because I take care to word things in a strong, clear and persuasive way. People respect me more (just for diction and grammar! Weird, but true) and tend to want to know my thoughts or opinions in a conversation. And those things are all good in their own way, have a positive net benefit for me, and can be a benefit to those around me.

It can also be a temptation to be a bully, to use my eloquence to hurt, to use my talent to be negative, and to make me think I'm something important or special, when I'm not, any more than any one of you. Just because I know something others don't, catch on quicker, or have experience someone else doesn't, doesn't make me a better person. I still have to struggle against feeling that way.

All this is to let you know: even when you are getting somewhere, accomplishing things and being good, IT'S STILL A STRUGGLE, just on a different level with different things.

Last thing. You ask at the end how to be useful, and not just by making other ppl feel better. Well, what do you think "useful" means? Being full of use, being of use, using yourself as a tool to get things done that need doing. It is all about work. A tool in the shed has the potential to be of use, but until it is in your hand doing work, it is not being useful. Does the shovel or hoe benefit from the things grown in a garden? Nope--it's the person using the tool and the others who eat from the garden.

Look at yourself as the garden, and the gardener. You have to work on yourself--till the soil (prepare by understanding and getting knowledge) pull the weeds (get rid of bad habits) plant seeds (good habits) get sun, fresh air, exercise, enough sleep, eat healthy, play, enjoy simple pleasures. And when it's time to work, do it willingly, knowing it will pay out in the end. The harvest are the people that see you as someone worth knowing, worth being friends with, worth caring about, and you care about them, adn you all can help each other. (psst--you already are IN at least one group like that! *nudge nudge* So maybe you aren't SO bad as you think. )

Be patient, don't give up. You WILL see the fruit of your labors, IF you labor.

pooks: Not every thing that you do blows up in your face. Did you get dressed? yes i put on torn up pants and got in trouble (this was by accident) Did you feed your pet?yes they were waiting for me and scratched me in the rush. Did you say goodbye to mum when you left for school? no i forgot... Did you go to school? yes i was endlessly made fun of. Didi you sit in class...so many things happen bad grades, stress, falling out of chair,gas, ect.



when i tried to help: person drops books in hallway. i bend down to help. get kicked a few times. then the person yells at me as i hand them to them (the books were every were)

i lead a project in math my group fail with a 10 (even though i knew the stuff)

I'm to afraid to stand up for my few friends.

i carry stuff for people and drop...on my self....and they get mad...

ECT

As it turns out, the girl sitting next to me that I thought was my friend was just hiding that she thinks I'm annoying... its really sad...

that's it......

EVERYONE thinks I'm annoying (and i wish that was exaggeration) my few friends think im annoying. its something i have to live with.

this next part my sound shallow or cold:

i dont care if a freind stops being my freind. SO WHAT it happens to me all the time.
either they turn against me ignore me move away (the best ones that would never be mean to me) or they die with exception of the last one i don't care. IM USE TO IT