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The Titleless Story

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What Should I call it?

The Titleless Story Vote_lcap60%The Titleless Story Vote_rcap 60% 
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The Titleless Story Empty The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:11 am

Here you can talk about the Story I am writing.

Anyone wanna suggest a name?


Last edited by Winnie on Sun Aug 23, 2009 8:28 am; edited 1 time in total
Winnie
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Wed Aug 19, 2009 7:46 am

I love it, Winnie, and I think it's beautiful.

Why not call it "Love You Forever"? Or "Christmas in Time"? Or maybe "Into His World"?

You know, your writing is suddenly a lot more professional. Almost all of the little distracting mistakes that I'm so used to finding from you are suddenly gone, and the result is every bit as good as a lot of published books I've read. In fact, this is the first story posted in this board to affect me the same way that a truly world-class book does. I can't stop thinking about it... I can't stop dreaming about it... It's even interfering with my ability to drive, which in this circumstance is very high praise... I want to read more!
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Wed Aug 19, 2009 11:50 pm

Gee, thanks! Please do not read my story while driving, however, becuase you may crash..

I am rather frusterated with writing right now, becuase you can spend weeks on character development, finding a song for inspiration, looking for a character or person to lightly base him off of, and actaully drawing him out, not to mention attempting to write him and name him appropreatley, and you can show a finely drawing and inked picture of him to you sister and she will ask why Mark Cohen is on the cover of my book. And after you kindly explain to her that that is Jason, who isn't anything like Mark, you suddenly realise that they have the same personality, timidness, and skin tone, not to mention striped scarf. After that you assume that she'll forget about it, however she then shows it to your mother, who is an avid Rent fan, and she asks the same question that Amara does. After you give the explanation, you suddenly remember that you have company, and they are all looking at you carrying a white binder with Amara and your mother laughing. Hard. Later, Amara brings it up again, and again, and again. Since I can't change him, I have decided that I'll just live with it and hope the next character I make won't be based directly off of a broadway character that you're whole family has seen.

Dang you kayleen, for deciding that the scarf should be black and white striped.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:40 am

Oh, I can see how that would be frustrating. :trxp:

Seriously, it doesn't even matter. I've had something similar happen plenty of times, although for me it's more along the lines of "Okay, I've got this perfect original character who just sprung out of nowhere as if he/she had always been in my story... Wait, I know that personality. This is Anakin Skywalker!"
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:50 am

Yes, but it is 10x worse than that! It's the appearance, personality, and his brother has the same name as the actor that play's Mark's brother!
Winnie
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Thu Aug 20, 2009 7:52 am

Okay, you win. It's frustrating. But, seriously... YOU CALLED HIM "ADAM!!!!" (Was that on purpose, just to make me freak out, or have you, um, forgotten?)

Whichever one is, is funny.

But I do like what you've done with the next two chapters.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Thu Aug 20, 2009 8:12 am

What, I like the name Adam!

Actually, it was a refernce to Anthony Rapp's real life brother, Adam Rapp. He's a writer.
Winnie
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:31 am

Jason goes from being about thirteen to his final age in about three seconds? That was fast.

But I like this new chapter, though the one before it experiences a brief resurgence of... characteristic typos.


.:Post Merge- Bad Juli! You double posted! (lol)


Winnie?

...You've got your title.

"Shattered Time."

It's beautiful. The story is beautiful, and the poem is amazing. I think you've really surpassed yourself; this is a piece of truly worthwhile literature.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:22 am

NEW CHAPTER!

Sorry it took so long, but I finally got the next chaptah!

You can take a look into Jason's past this week, and hopefully not get creeped out...
Winnie
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:32 am

Aww, cute! Jason's an animal lover... and I sure don't blame him for wanting to run away. Are there even any adults at that place? (On second thought, don't answer that. I really don't want to know.)
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Sun Aug 30, 2009 5:05 am

Ok, ok. I won't say...


And yeah, Jason loves animals. I may even make him make somthing that lets him talk to them!

The Titleless Story Dorkco10
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Banned Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:31 pm

You should go with No.3 Name just my oppinion hope you can come up with a name.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Cial Sun Aug 30, 2009 11:30 pm

Anything but the last one *shudder*
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Post by Ryzaa Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:10 pm

Juli's idea on the storyname is good.. definately fits.. Awesome story so far Winz, keep it up ;D
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Tue Sep 08, 2009 9:30 am

I love your new chapter of the story, Wins. "Even he knew that you didn't organise food by color." (By the way, is there some reason that you're consistently using the British spelling of the word "organize"?) Just one issue: You said that "Jason was not confused for two reasons," then gave two reasons as to why he was confused. Mebbe you should fix that. And, seriously, why on earth IS the food organized by color?
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Tue Sep 08, 2009 5:17 pm

Jason is british. >: D

Plus I'm just not very smart.


And I apologise, my editor quit becuase she had school.


And Adam likes organising stuff by color.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Fri Sep 11, 2009 6:28 am

I like the new chapter. Lyla and Jason still seem very slightly awkward around each other (though I can see how it's understandable, particularly when Lyla stabs Jason's foot with a very sharp stiletto heel) and it really makes me feel like I'm there.

Incidentally, you might be interested to hear that today in school I learned that albinism most frequently occurs due to a lack of the enzyme tyrosinase, which is important in the production of melanin. Melanin, of course, being the pigment that colors human skin.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Fri Sep 11, 2009 7:11 am

....yay...?

Heck, I just liked the idea.

I really think that Lyla and Jason are very real characters, and It's very annoying thinking of what to do to dtop those akward moments, becuase whatever I do always ends up somehow making it akward-er...

-_- *sigh* Skintone fail.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Sat Sep 12, 2009 9:19 am

I can tell you exactly how to get the awkward moments to leave. As you might recall, when I was your age Amara and I were writing stories chock-full of precisely that kind of awkward moments; in fact, they showed up in every single attempted romance scene we wrote. What needs to happen to get better (and not stuck in an awkward rut like the original inhabitants of the Sundries' world were) is for things like this to keep going on for a while as they gradually become better friends, until eventually the latest iteration of this sort of thing leaves them laughing together rather than frightened and awkward. Then, when they trust one another implicitly like that, they can start falling in love. Once that's been going on for a while, you'll have to introduce the wedding scene you implied was coming when Jason mentioned that he and Lyla were married way back when he first met her in the time stream...
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Mon Sep 14, 2009 3:46 am

Okaaaaaaaay?


NEW CHAPTER! Plus, Jason's Gray Folder.
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Thu Oct 15, 2009 8:18 am

NEW CHAPTER... Please read? ANyone?
Winnie
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:23 pm

It's very impressive, Winnie. I'd like to know what happens to your ten-year-old Lyla, and how you reconcile that with the beginning of the story... how do you explain the effects of time travel, anyway? Do Lyla and Jason exist in an alternate timestream, or what?
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Winnie Tue Oct 20, 2009 7:32 am

That's not exactly how it works...
The Titleless Story Diagra10

See now?

Plus, that's not 10 year old Lyla...
Winnie
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The Titleless Story Empty Re: The Titleless Story

Post by Juliana Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:27 am

Oh, now I begin to sort of see... the timestream branches off, and the result is... a lot of stuff. Including what appears to be ((Lyla and Jason's daughter?))
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