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OUR DOMAIN IS ABOUT TO EXPIRE
Sun Apr 27, 2014 8:43 am by V
but I renewed it.
what have YOU done today, TR?
also I'm not sure if heartbleed effected us but you should probably not change your password, the jitterbug gang are working hard and they need …
what have YOU done today, TR?
also I'm not sure if heartbleed effected us but you should probably not change your password, the jitterbug gang are working hard and they need …
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The Titleless Story
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What Should I call it?
The Titleless Story
Here you can talk about the Story I am writing.
Anyone wanna suggest a name?
Anyone wanna suggest a name?
Last edited by Winnie on Sun Aug 23, 2009 8:28 am; edited 1 time in total
Re: The Titleless Story
I love it, Winnie, and I think it's beautiful.
Why not call it "Love You Forever"? Or "Christmas in Time"? Or maybe "Into His World"?
You know, your writing is suddenly a lot more professional. Almost all of the little distracting mistakes that I'm so used to finding from you are suddenly gone, and the result is every bit as good as a lot of published books I've read. In fact, this is the first story posted in this board to affect me the same way that a truly world-class book does. I can't stop thinking about it... I can't stop dreaming about it... It's even interfering with my ability to drive, which in this circumstance is very high praise... I want to read more!
Why not call it "Love You Forever"? Or "Christmas in Time"? Or maybe "Into His World"?
You know, your writing is suddenly a lot more professional. Almost all of the little distracting mistakes that I'm so used to finding from you are suddenly gone, and the result is every bit as good as a lot of published books I've read. In fact, this is the first story posted in this board to affect me the same way that a truly world-class book does. I can't stop thinking about it... I can't stop dreaming about it... It's even interfering with my ability to drive, which in this circumstance is very high praise... I want to read more!
Juliana- Storyteller!
- Number of posts : 3679
User Points : 164132
Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
Gee, thanks! Please do not read my story while driving, however, becuase you may crash..
I am rather frusterated with writing right now, becuase you can spend weeks on character development, finding a song for inspiration, looking for a character or person to lightly base him off of, and actaully drawing him out, not to mention attempting to write him and name him appropreatley, and you can show a finely drawing and inked picture of him to you sister and she will ask why Mark Cohen is on the cover of my book. And after you kindly explain to her that that is Jason, who isn't anything like Mark, you suddenly realise that they have the same personality, timidness, and skin tone, not to mention striped scarf. After that you assume that she'll forget about it, however she then shows it to your mother, who is an avid Rent fan, and she asks the same question that Amara does. After you give the explanation, you suddenly remember that you have company, and they are all looking at you carrying a white binder with Amara and your mother laughing. Hard. Later, Amara brings it up again, and again, and again. Since I can't change him, I have decided that I'll just live with it and hope the next character I make won't be based directly off of a broadway character that you're whole family has seen.
Dang you kayleen, for deciding that the scarf should be black and white striped.
I am rather frusterated with writing right now, becuase you can spend weeks on character development, finding a song for inspiration, looking for a character or person to lightly base him off of, and actaully drawing him out, not to mention attempting to write him and name him appropreatley, and you can show a finely drawing and inked picture of him to you sister and she will ask why Mark Cohen is on the cover of my book. And after you kindly explain to her that that is Jason, who isn't anything like Mark, you suddenly realise that they have the same personality, timidness, and skin tone, not to mention striped scarf. After that you assume that she'll forget about it, however she then shows it to your mother, who is an avid Rent fan, and she asks the same question that Amara does. After you give the explanation, you suddenly remember that you have company, and they are all looking at you carrying a white binder with Amara and your mother laughing. Hard. Later, Amara brings it up again, and again, and again. Since I can't change him, I have decided that I'll just live with it and hope the next character I make won't be based directly off of a broadway character that you're whole family has seen.
Dang you kayleen, for deciding that the scarf should be black and white striped.
Re: The Titleless Story
Oh, I can see how that would be frustrating. :trxp:
Seriously, it doesn't even matter. I've had something similar happen plenty of times, although for me it's more along the lines of "Okay, I've got this perfect original character who just sprung out of nowhere as if he/she had always been in my story... Wait, I know that personality. This is Anakin Skywalker!"
Seriously, it doesn't even matter. I've had something similar happen plenty of times, although for me it's more along the lines of "Okay, I've got this perfect original character who just sprung out of nowhere as if he/she had always been in my story... Wait, I know that personality. This is Anakin Skywalker!"
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
Yes, but it is 10x worse than that! It's the appearance, personality, and his brother has the same name as the actor that play's Mark's brother!
Re: The Titleless Story
Okay, you win. It's frustrating. But, seriously... YOU CALLED HIM "ADAM!!!!" (Was that on purpose, just to make me freak out, or have you, um, forgotten?)
Whichever one is, is funny.
But I do like what you've done with the next two chapters.
Whichever one is, is funny.
But I do like what you've done with the next two chapters.
Juliana- Storyteller!
- Number of posts : 3679
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Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
What, I like the name Adam!
Actually, it was a refernce to Anthony Rapp's real life brother, Adam Rapp. He's a writer.
Actually, it was a refernce to Anthony Rapp's real life brother, Adam Rapp. He's a writer.
Re: The Titleless Story
Jason goes from being about thirteen to his final age in about three seconds? That was fast.
But I like this new chapter, though the one before it experiences a brief resurgence of... characteristic typos.
.:Post Merge- Bad Juli! You double posted! (lol)
Winnie?
...You've got your title.
"Shattered Time."
It's beautiful. The story is beautiful, and the poem is amazing. I think you've really surpassed yourself; this is a piece of truly worthwhile literature.
But I like this new chapter, though the one before it experiences a brief resurgence of... characteristic typos.
.:Post Merge- Bad Juli! You double posted! (lol)
Winnie?
...You've got your title.
"Shattered Time."
It's beautiful. The story is beautiful, and the poem is amazing. I think you've really surpassed yourself; this is a piece of truly worthwhile literature.
Juliana- Storyteller!
- Number of posts : 3679
User Points : 164132
Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
NEW CHAPTER!
Sorry it took so long, but I finally got the next chaptah!
You can take a look into Jason's past this week, and hopefully not get creeped out...
Sorry it took so long, but I finally got the next chaptah!
You can take a look into Jason's past this week, and hopefully not get creeped out...
Re: The Titleless Story
Aww, cute! Jason's an animal lover... and I sure don't blame him for wanting to run away. Are there even any adults at that place? (On second thought, don't answer that. I really don't want to know.)
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Re: The Titleless Story
Ok, ok. I won't say...
And yeah, Jason loves animals. I may even make him make somthing that lets him talk to them!
And yeah, Jason loves animals. I may even make him make somthing that lets him talk to them!
Re: The Titleless Story
You should go with No.3 Name just my oppinion hope you can come up with a name.
Banned- Member
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Re: The Titleless Story
Anything but the last one *shudder*
Cial- I am your mother
- Zard :
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Re: The Titleless Story
Juli's idea on the storyname is good.. definately fits.. Awesome story so far Winz, keep it up ;D
RyzaaProcrastinator- Zard :
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Re: The Titleless Story
I love your new chapter of the story, Wins. "Even he knew that you didn't organise food by color." (By the way, is there some reason that you're consistently using the British spelling of the word "organize"?) Just one issue: You said that "Jason was not confused for two reasons," then gave two reasons as to why he was confused. Mebbe you should fix that. And, seriously, why on earth IS the food organized by color?
Juliana- Storyteller!
- Number of posts : 3679
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Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
Jason is british. >: D
Plus I'm just not very smart.
And I apologise, my editor quit becuase she had school.
And Adam likes organising stuff by color.
Plus I'm just not very smart.
And I apologise, my editor quit becuase she had school.
And Adam likes organising stuff by color.
Re: The Titleless Story
I like the new chapter. Lyla and Jason still seem very slightly awkward around each other (though I can see how it's understandable, particularly when Lyla stabs Jason's foot with a very sharp stiletto heel) and it really makes me feel like I'm there.
Incidentally, you might be interested to hear that today in school I learned that albinism most frequently occurs due to a lack of the enzyme tyrosinase, which is important in the production of melanin. Melanin, of course, being the pigment that colors human skin.
Incidentally, you might be interested to hear that today in school I learned that albinism most frequently occurs due to a lack of the enzyme tyrosinase, which is important in the production of melanin. Melanin, of course, being the pigment that colors human skin.
Juliana- Storyteller!
- Number of posts : 3679
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Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
....yay...?
Heck, I just liked the idea.
I really think that Lyla and Jason are very real characters, and It's very annoying thinking of what to do to dtop those akward moments, becuase whatever I do always ends up somehow making it akward-er...
-_- *sigh* Skintone fail.
Heck, I just liked the idea.
I really think that Lyla and Jason are very real characters, and It's very annoying thinking of what to do to dtop those akward moments, becuase whatever I do always ends up somehow making it akward-er...
-_- *sigh* Skintone fail.
Re: The Titleless Story
I can tell you exactly how to get the awkward moments to leave. As you might recall, when I was your age Amara and I were writing stories chock-full of precisely that kind of awkward moments; in fact, they showed up in every single attempted romance scene we wrote. What needs to happen to get better (and not stuck in an awkward rut like the original inhabitants of the Sundries' world were) is for things like this to keep going on for a while as they gradually become better friends, until eventually the latest iteration of this sort of thing leaves them laughing together rather than frightened and awkward. Then, when they trust one another implicitly like that, they can start falling in love. Once that's been going on for a while, you'll have to introduce the wedding scene you implied was coming when Jason mentioned that he and Lyla were married way back when he first met her in the time stream...
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
It's very impressive, Winnie. I'd like to know what happens to your ten-year-old Lyla, and how you reconcile that with the beginning of the story... how do you explain the effects of time travel, anyway? Do Lyla and Jason exist in an alternate timestream, or what?
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
Re: The Titleless Story
That's not exactly how it works...
See now?
Plus, that's not 10 year old Lyla...
See now?
Plus, that's not 10 year old Lyla...
Re: The Titleless Story
Oh, now I begin to sort of see... the timestream branches off, and the result is... a lot of stuff. Including what appears to be ((Lyla and Jason's daughter?))
Juliana- Storyteller!
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Age : 30
Location : In my own little corner, in my own little chair...
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