Re: Approval for Word Gallery form

by Guest Fri Feb 05, 2010 5:47 pm

Medium (What you do most of) : Short Stories Mainly
How long have you been writing? : Just started
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

I woke up and I realized something was wrong; this wasn’t the place I had fallen asleep in. Looking around, I was horrified to see that I was in a giant cage. Rushing to the bars, I tried to bend them, they wouldn’t budge, I tried the bars on the other side, still nothing. I kept trying for a few minutes before I calmed down and got a good look at my surroundings; it was a large cage, the floor seemed to be covered in large loose pieces of wood, there was a bowl in the corner filled with food and water. I heard a loud noise and turned around. Outside of the cage there was a giant staring at me, probably considering to eat me. The giant opened a door on top of the cage and reached in, I closed my eyes, accepting my fate. A minute passed… then another... then five… and nothing happened. Opening my eyes I looked in front of me, the giant had gone and in the cage there was a…. CARROT! YUMMY! MINE!

MrSebi opened the door slightly and peeked through; he could see his new pet rabbit chewing happily on the carrot. He smiled, he had been worried that the rabbit would have a hard time adjusting to a new environment and he was glad to be wrong.

Good grammar, amusing story... Atriproved!

by Evangel Sat Feb 06, 2010 4:07 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Fictional Stories/ Fanfics
How long have you been writing? : A year or so.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : (A excerpt from the first chapter of the story I'm doing on my in-game character, Evangel)

Like all great figures in history, there is an origin to as to who they become. The same is no different for the man who would grow up to become the Admiral of the Shadowscythe Navy...

Our story begins in the port town of Lolosia, on a ship belonging to the pirate, Sparrowhawk. He was a dreadful man, feared among the seas for his merciless attacks on port towns and ships alike. He was a tall, thin man, his skin tanned a bronze collor from the months at sea. He had thick, black hair, draping down his back and a long, scraggily beard. His eyes so green they looked like emeralds. He wore black pirate clothes, belonging to a group of famous pirates known as "Alpha Pirates".

Sparrowhawk had no intentions of pillaging Lolosia, though. He had business to attend to. Lolosia was his home, he returned for 20 years since he left. Why had he come back? Sparrowhawk was dying. During a recent engagement, he had been poisoned by a Sneevil, of all creatures. The poison was slowly coursing through his body. There's no telling when he would die.

He returned to Lolosia for one purpose: to ensure that his legacy is continued, to have a child to bear his genes.

Sounds more like a trailer than an actual story, but it's promising, so Atriproved!

by **Vampiric** Sat Feb 06, 2010 6:10 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Medium length stories, poems on occasion and casual script writing
How long have you been writing? : Been writing stories and such for awhile, but had started writing more seriously 3-4ish years ago
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

"A smoky haze choked the inhabitants milling around inside the tavern. Its misty tendrils softened the edges of the mounted heads, message boards and crudely carved stools that littered the room. The gentle mewing of stray cats could be heard suffusing the humid air with a sense of desperation, competing with the boisterous voices that clamored for attention in the tightly packed inn. From behind the counter, a cautious bartender eyed the increasingly raucous customers with an almost baleful glare, polishing the tankard he gripped in his hand with the diverted attention that can only be attained through repetitive routine. He barely regarded the solitary figure crouched in upon himself at the end of the counter - he was no imminent threat, nothing out of the ordinary. The bartender had been seeing these solitary figures; these warriors, impose their silent dominance many times over. They came, drank and they left. It was simple business at its best.

The man observed the scene unfolding before him with mild interest. A cloak of deep crimson hung on his shoulders, cascading down his back to brush along the rough wood beneath his feet. His sword, an intricate piece of work consisting of the strangest minerals from foreign forges and trimmed with the furnishings of gleaming gold, lay abandoned against the wall, the symbol of violence a note of discord in the landscape of what would be a humble tavern."

AUTHOR’S NOTE:Okay, my sample piece went over (235 words), sorry! This is a segment from a story I had been writing but since I’ve only written this much so far, I don’t really remember what it’s about anymore. It did involve my character at some point though. I’ll probably rework it later on and find a storyline for this to develop into.

Looks good, nice grammar, fun to read... I look forward to seeing a full gallery from you ^^ Atriproved!!

by Burst Power Draco Wed Feb 10, 2010 7:25 am

Medium (What you do most of) :Tweeting and going to school
How long have you been writing? : all my life but am just now into it
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please)
Chapter 1 of Dread Lords

As the moon was full we all shouted. There in Battleon was a great evil who went by the name Burst.
"So are you a dread lord?" questioned Warlic carefully.
"Yes" replied Burst.
At that moment warlic wanted to know everything about Burst ,but in a quick second he was gone.
The next day everyone in town woke up from a nightmare. They were all amazed that they all had woken from a nightmare not just one,but then they had seen someone strange. There was a new adventurer in battleon that day. A young man who no one had known.
Everybody went to ask him who he was. Then they saw he had been shakeing in fear.
"Did you have a nightmare?" questioned Yulgar.
"No ... worse." he had said.
"What could be worse then having a nightmare?" asked Aria
"Living one." he replied.
Everyone had been stricken,wonder what he meant. Aria and Twilly had a frown on their face. They all had wanted to help him ,but then he ran to the forest.
The next day Aria and Twilly were still worried for the new person. Nobody knew if they should follow him or not. Then, Zorbak came and slapped Twilly in the face.
"What was that for!"shouted Twilly
"Aren't you guys supposed to be good guys!"said Zorbak
"Ya...So...Wait....Oh...."said Warlic understanding what to do.
"Everyone lets go find Him!" said Valencia cheer fully.

Some one aprove or not

There was a few grammatical errors, but nothing major, you could do a little better with making the story keep its suspensful tone as it goes on so it doesnt lose its interest. There could also be more literary devices used to draw in the Reader, but I think it was a story that shows promise if you follow my advice
Approved-but dont forget my advice okay

~Icey

by Malkoir Thu Feb 11, 2010 6:23 am

Yea... Since ima back and all, Ive decided to re-enter teh word gallery! Okay so...

Medium : What do I do most of - In writing I prefer some mystery,fantasy and Sci-Fi. In general, Soccer, Guitar, and Writing. Yup.

How long have I been writing? About 4-5 years. Not too long.

Example you ask? Okaydokey. Ima just write from scratch. My others stories are meh.

Chapter 1 - The end is only the begining

Journal - Day 5.

6 days ago I was a normal person. I was in college, studying to be a doctor. I was so foolish, I singed up for the army reserve. The next day, I get a call. Its the head of the military base I signed up for. He said I have been chosen to fight in the war. Next I know I'm shipped off the France. Armed and ready I am about to march upon the shores of France to take the Germans head on.

Journal - Day 6.

My unit is dead. My commander is missing. The germans were anialated. I am sperated from my base by the crash site.
Oh, I should explain to you. As we marched, we were about to open fire when a large meteor struck the center of the battlefield. Nobody moved. Then we heard this horrible screech, and around 18 monstrous beings jump out of the hole. They had claws. They spoke in a strange language. They had weaponry far more advanced than anything I'd ever seen. Half charged the germans, the others came to us. Something hit me in the face, and I blacked out.
When I awoke, everyone was gone, and there was a huge slash across my face, and an alien gun near my side. I ran back to the base, noly to find it being gaurded by the aliens. Why are they here? What do they want? I need to find someone, and I need answers FAST.

This is one of my many writing styes, If ya want more just ask!

Hmm, Interesting, could use a little more description and imagery. I like how you ended the second journal entry in a sense of suspense to make the reader want to read more. I sound like some english teacher dont I XD
anyway, I like it and would like to see all your writing styles included in your gallery :D
Approved

~Icey

by gryfinrider Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:50 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Short stories I can't stop writing.
How long have you been writing? : All my life.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

After I had dropped the king in the chasm I flew towards the griffin village. I stealthily snuck in the Griffin Master’s office, after a few minutes of watching her do her duties, waiting for the perfect moment to strike, I quickly flew down. The Master sensed me and quickly hovered in the air, I only froze her back legs. Then she screeched, “Grynoir!! You traitor!” She was about to say something else before I froze her completely. I tried flying her upward to a skylight but she was too heavy, then I suddenly realized there was a entrance to the chasm under a piece of carpet! I lifted the carpet off the floor and took her to where the dragon king is. I flew to the hidden exit on the chasms ceiling, unfroze them, and quickly flew away. As I flew to meet Lyfrick, I thought, I hope they work together to get out, and don’t kill each other. I was flying so fast I barely noticed Lyfrick on top of huge plateau, I quickly flew downward and asked him why he was there, he replied, “They found out”, he looked over at me, “They know it’s us that did it… we’re outcasts now”.

Pretty sure this is under 200.

For being pretty short, that was fun to read, I like your writing style, you could always drag parts out a little longer, but it was good, I hope this becomes a full story, I like the concept. Anway I look foward to your gallery

Approved

~Icey

by Peregrine Tue Feb 16, 2010 4:23 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Dull exposition.
How long have you been writing? : Since I was but a wee lad.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

The jarring sound of the telephone provided a rude awakening for the haggard looking man resting in his apartment's armchair. He rose, but as he did so, the bottle of Jack Daniel's that had been nestled in his arm slipped and fell onto the carpet. Either the man did not notice, or did not care, as he stumbled to the telephone without detriment. He fumbled for a moment with the receiver before he was able to lift it from the clear plungers, and then paused before speaking into the microphone.

"Peregrine Falcon, detective. Who's this?"

"This is your boss," retorted the voice at the other end of the phone. "Get your lazy arse down to 9123 Rosewood Avenue, we've got two bodies and no leads."

Chief Vamparagon wasn't one for pleasantries.

"I'm on my way," replied Peregrine, who then proceeded to hang up.

Vamparagon didn't like to be kept waiting either.

It was five thirty by the time Peregrine's yellow Volvo rolled into the gravel driveway at 9123 Rosewood Avenue. Two police cruisers and Vamparagon's silver Honda were already there. Dusk was falling fast, but thankfully the porch light had been-

And baby makes two hundred.

Sorry for the abrupt cut off. I like where this is going so I'm planning on finishing it for my first gallery piece. Besides, this way you'll all be dying to find out if this incarnation of Vamp has a mustache of not.

Oh, and I probably got all the parts to the telephone wrong. Yeah.

From just reading that I can tell that your really talented, the word choice, description, eirie setting for mystery, it was all there wonderfully, I cant wait to read the rest of you story.
Approved
~Icey

by Alanza Wed Feb 17, 2010 12:38 am

[b]Medium (What you do most of) : I mainly do short stories.
How long have you been writing? : I've always been a writer, but I've only just started writing again after about a five year gap. Or longer.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
Alanza always loved traveling with a group. Challenges were just a part of the fun, to her. Each day she would go some place new, sometimes traveling for days, sometimes merely just leaving the town of Battleon, where she lived.
One day, she happened upon a fork in the road, one sign leading one way said, "Somewhere" and the other, "Nowhere".
She decided to take the risk and go where her brain was telling her not to go. Nowhere.
Alanza was questing to find the pieces of the Blade of Awe she coveted so dearly. Having found the Stonewrit by mere chance of coming across a chest on her travels, the girl was feeling very lucky and confident.
This journey however, lasted weeks. Months, even. Battling through hordes of Orcs and running through dark dangerous caves of Elementals, Alanza was having no luck at all. Thankfully she had Valencia at her side, the Rare Item Hunter.
Alanza stopped and turned to her.
"Okay, we've come this far, and not one piece has been found since the Stonewrit not long after we left Battleon. We've been on this journey for two months now, and I just want to be home. Let us try another time, aye?" Alanza waited for Valencia's response. A mischievous smile slowly appeared on Valencia's face as she reached behind her into her pack and took out two parts of the blade. "Sorry I didn't tell you. I wanted to know how far your strong will would take you before you gave up. I'm impressed, Alanza. You would make a great rare item hunter some day." Alanza just stared at her, then accepted the pieces, fitting them into the Stonewrit, then looking back up at Valencia. "That's not my goal, friend. For now, I have no goals. I go where the wind takes me and do what I want." Alanza paused for a moment before speaking again. "Let's head home nevertheless, but take a different route, see how lucky we get if we do a bit of exploring on the way. What do ya say to that? Surely, you can't say no!" Alanza said with a knowing grin. Valencia grinned back and nodded as they turned a corner and headed back.

Pretty fun to read, good wordchoice. You could go a little more indept with the story but it is only an application, I look foward to seeing your stories in your gallery
Approved
~Icey

Thank you, I'll get to it right away. (:
I'm guessing I haven't been fully approved, because I can't start a gallery. D:

Thats not it, an Admin just hasnt added you to a word gallery usergroup...I think, your still just as approved as everyone else.
~Icey

That's what I meant, hehe. All fixed now, thanks to Ryzaa! :D

by Guest Wed Feb 17, 2010 1:48 pm

What do you do most of?
Mostly i'm fantasy and but sometimes I dabble in sci-fi (but not very often)

How long have you been writing?
I have been writing from the age of around 15, when i discovered a real love for creativeness

The alarm went of in a wild spasm of noise and vibrations that shook the bed.
He lifted himself into a sitting position in the bed and slammed his fist down into the alarm. He did this because he knew that if he didnt hit it hard enough it would go on and on and on.
Deciding against going back to sleep he got up and walked over to the balcony where his robot servant was waiting for him.
"bzzzzzzzz meep......Hello master Sepulchure00 bzzzzzzzzzz meep"
"hullo" he walked over they exanged words until he finally fixed the bot of its speech impediment.
He walked inside and grabbed the cube sitting on the bedside table.
Pressing a button on the centre console of it, a weird light enveloped him.
Then it was gone and he was dressed in him armour, a rough rumpled armour that smelt of blood, but he didn't care he walked briskly from the room before realising he was late.
He then proceeded to bolt down the hall bursting into the room.
The shocked faces of the other students stared at him then looked away as if they would catch a horrible disease.
He took his spot at the back, created a ball of fire shaded the colour of the mood he was in and played with it for the entire lesson.

When the bell went he was the first to leave, strolling down the hall he had a sense of eeriness around him.
He pushed open the big wooden doors to the courtyard.
The sunbeams hit him and imediatly he scuttled back inside hissing like something possessed

You have good description. I like your choice of words. Grammer is good.
Approved
~Icey

Thanks Icey

by Super Bat Fri Feb 26, 2010 1:30 am

Medium (What you do most of) :Some short storys some rather long storys depends what kind of mood I am in.
How long have you been writing? : A few years
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : This has a few grammer phails as it is a first draft of one of my tales

I was walking through the woods hunting a rebel lycan known as “The Wolf Man” I saw movement in the shadows and loaded my crossbow with a silver bolt.
The second I had my finger on the trigger of the crossbow something hit me in the side hard. I crashed into a near by tree smashing a wild punch into the beasts jaw It screamed in pain slashing my arm with its claw then it ran back into the trees.

Blood dripped off my arm onto the floor I looked at my potions happy that another shadow slayer had enchanted the glass so it would not brake I did not have a potion that could heal me but one that could numb the pain. I drank quickly before picking my crossbow off the floor and looking for the beast again. The beasts blood was on nearby trees and I ran to them hoping to find something. Then I realized this was an obvious trap.

Even if it is a first draft we want you to show us that you have correct grammar. You really need to use more punctuation. What you've written is pretty good though, so please try again with better grammar.
~Icey

by Earthx Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:55 am

NOTE:
Once upon a time there was no time. Now that this is stated, the period of no time would be referred to as the timeless. Now, in the timeless, several things came to pass, all of which have no definite order due to the absence of time. Keep in mind that there is no before and after there is no cause and effect, if something seems out of order you must remember there is no order. Now let us continue into the realm where space and time have not yet coexisted, where voids of nothingness fill the gap of where time should be filled, where there is no past and there is no future, the present is everlasting and expanding.

“FINE!” yelled the young man as he packed his belongings in a small box.
“I don’t need you; I have everything I need in Watchtown.” The girl he was yelling at was none other than a friend he was angry at. He didn’t know why, in fact he didn’t know anything; there was nothing to remember and nothing to look forward to but he left anyway headed towards a place he found to ring in the back of his head when ever he needed an answer. The girl still standing in total shock, not understanding what was happening either, began to do the only thing that felt was right, cry. As she was sitting there crying a large void came near. These voids are unstable areas of space that derive from the absence of something important. The void, entering the house caused a massive shake and a bright flash, sucking everything into it to regain the balance of the universe.
The boy looked behind him and all he saw was air, and strangely he remembered something, he remembered the argument and the house. He remembered the girl, but he still knew nothing before the argument. Suddenly he hears the place ringing in the back of his head. “Watchtown” and with a thud he falls to the ground asleep. Suddenly he awakes. He has no idea who or where he is but, he tries to remember. In his mind he sees a house being sucked into a void. And once again he remembers. He picks him self up off the ground and takes a look around. He sees a weird store, curious about his new ability to recall past moments he walks into the shop looking for someone to talk to. He sees a girl, she looks familiar. As he talks to her he suddenly realizes that it is the same person who was sucked into the void, but unlike him, she remembers nothing. He approaches her and speaks. “Hello” said the young man. She turns around and for some reason he knew she would be crying. “What do you want?” she asks him. Before he could think of a response he got an idea. “Follow me” he said running out side. The girl confused decides to follow him. Out of instinct he runs into a house on a hill, with her following. Once inside he puts the box down and opens it. The girl walks in as he pulls out a circular sheet of paper, covered in weird symbols. Looking confused he runs out to meet the girl. As he greets her to come inside he notices the store they were in, being sucked into an on coming void. As the store vanishes into thin air he sees the stores sign uproot from the ground and fly into the air. The sign read “watchtown”. Suddenly everything made sense.
He knew his time was limited. “Quick!” he said attaching the circular piece of paper to a larger round piece of metal. “Hand me the two arrows” she did as she was told but was still not sure of what was happening. Suddenly she thought she knew what was happening and began to attack him. She knocked him to the ground and began to run to the back of the house. The young man got up picking up his new invention and packing it into a box and yelled. “FINE!” Then there was a strange ringing in the back of his head and he heard “watchtown” “I don’t need you; I have every thing I need in watch town.”
The girl began to cry, when suddenly the void neared and took the roof off the top of the house. The boy who had already walked out of the house in search of clock town, (he didn’t know where it was or where he was going, he didn’t know why he was angry with her, he just needed answers) looked back and saw nothing. But suddenly he remembered, he remembered the girl he yelled at, he didn’t know why he was yelling but he remembered that there was a house there and now there isn’t. Suddenly he felt dizzy.
He fell to the ground and dropped his box. The box fell open and the round metal circle, with round paper, and strange symbols rolled out of the box. It rolled down hill only to fly backwards into the void. As the clock flew into the void the young man woke up and said a simple word that would forever change the course of history. “Time” and as the word was said the clock he had made went into the void. Suddenly the young man was old. He stood up and fell over dead. There was nothing, everything faded away into darkness. And then there was light.

if you need to get rid of these because it is bad or goes against regulations, feel free :D i just need it online for a little bit but if you happen to like it, cool beans

by Wixmagic Wed Apr 07, 2010 12:11 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Currently writing a story actually so..that c:
How long have you been writing? : Since some time in primary school
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : Setting: The final battle.

Wixmagic’s account: The battle rages on around me, Drakath is far too strong for our combined power. We are trying our hardest but for every attack we launch he seems to throw one back twice as powerful, we can’t win like this. Many of my friends have been hospitalised or even killed and I feel like I’m going the same way. This is hopeless! Two villages have been destroyed already, so much destruction has been bought because of this fight and too many innocent lives have been lost, and if we lose this battle it will have all been for nothing.

As the heroes make their final attack, Drakath does the same, all seems lost to the remaining heroes. Suddenly two bright lights radiate from the forest below, one as bright as the sun, the other glowing silver like the moon. The new lights surge towards the colliding attacks. An explosion of light. A deafening scream. Cries of relief as the heroes reach the ground safely. Alteon and Gravelyn count up the heroes, one missing, Wixmagic was gone…

.:Juliana:.
It's quite well-done, I like your style and there seem to be no major errors in spelling or grammar at all. Approved.

Yay! Thank you c: *copy pastes whole story so far onto word gallery*

by Zeo Thu Apr 08, 2010 8:59 pm

Kay, 2nd time lucky.

Medium (What you do most of): Stories.
How long have you been writing? : About 3 years.
Example:

North-East
They say everybody has a destiny. But then I have to ask- what's mine? I've been kicked out of my only home, abandoned by my school, and now I have a criminal record for stealing. I'm being torn apart 1 small emotion at a time. What have I been chosen to do? Is my destiny to die a homeless, unloved boy? It feels like that. Nothing can save me. I'll have to fend for myself. I know one thing though. I can't just sit here and hope that my destiny finds me. I'm going to have to travel a unknown road. I'll have to pass my own expectations. I'm going to have to do something that everybody told me i cannot do. I'm going to find my own destiny.

So here I am now. Walking to somewhere. Where? I have no idea- but it's going to teach me things I need and will learn, for my own sake. I don't know who, what, where, when, or why I am walking in the direction I am taking. But I swear that as long as I can move my 2 feet, I shall walk this way. I shall walk north-east.

Forever and ever.

__________________________________________________________________________________
I hope I got passed my problem with grammar. I always have a grammar problem :P.

.:Juliana:.
It's good! A little depressing, but that's common around here. Approved.

I seem to have a habbit of making depressing stories. XD. Thanks! ~Zeo

by Katherine Fri May 07, 2010 4:17 am

Eh... Guys? Do I have to reapply if I have not posted for a vewy long period of time? Oh, I'll just post the piece I want to upload although it may be confuzzling to anyone who does not know my chars... And their love. Still, here it is. And Re-Application if needed. Oh, move or delete this if you think it should not be here. And yes, it is long and is the Final. I apologise if I do not have to reapply for wasting time and for taking up space. You know, it being long? And it has no title, I can't think of good titles.

Medium: I don't know, shorts? Usually one shot.
How long have you been writing? Eh... I don't remember.

A brave knight rode towards the castle, one that had a tale of a damsel trapped in it and a dark guardian who guards the damsel from all who comes. Few know why it was there, even fewer knew how did the damsel get into the castle in the first place, but most who tried saving the damsel either went missing or came back insane. However, this one knight knew the truth about the castle itself, that it was not from this plane of his world, but from one that no one ever came back from. He wanted to know more after he spotted a glimpse of the damsel, and take her away from that castle if he could. He had wondered how she would be like, would she be curious to know his world? Or would she rather stay there alone with that dark guardian of the tale.

Soon, he was at the drawbridge which was strangely lowered and somewhat inviting him in, but he knew he had to be careful, as there might be traps that could hurt or even kill him. He got down from his horse and told it to graze at the nearby glade he saw earlier as they traveled to the castle. He then looked at the gate and knew then that he might never return if he entered the place, but he took a deep breath and walked across the drawbridge and into the castle itself. The interior of the castle gave him quite a shock, it seems so evil compared to the outside, but he knew where the castle was from and knew that the walls would not kill him unless it was one of those moving ones. He decided to start his search at the place he first glimpsed upon the fair damsel and rushed up the stairs and looked for the room where he saw her. The castle seemed to be alive, seemed to be endless and changing all the time but the knight found the room.

He opened the door and peeked in, but there was not a soul in sight. He took a small step in, hoping to look for clues to her whereabouts but the door slammed shut behind him and locked itself. The knight knew then that he was in trouble as he saw a shadow move. He knew it was the guardian, but he knew she would only test him first. He felt her presence but could not see her and he knew he would be alright if he did not do anything to agitate her. She was studying him before she took a step out from the shadows.

The knight was shocked, the guardian was the damsel herself! But he knew it couldn't be that for in his mind, he couldn't believe it. How could this fair maiden have managed to drive some the other knights insane and how could she have made the rest vanish? Even when he knew the castle was not from here, he could not believe that the damsel was from there too. He had always thought that the damsel was captured and left here, but now, he could not believe that anymore. The damsel looked at him, seemingly knowing what he was thinking and spoke to him in a soft voice, "The maiden and I share the same body. Two minds intertwined together, one awake and the other sleeping."

The knight, still slightly confused, asked the guardian, "Then why don't you get a mage to separate you two?" The guardian looked at him, shaking her head, and said, "It's not as easy as you think. We are one and the same. I, formed from the darkness in her, given a mind to protect her from those who would want to use her for their own selfish reasons. The darkness that should never awaken in her."

The knight was totally confused then. He had no idea what she meant at all. All he knew that he wanted to protect her somehow, even when he knew who she really is now, two personalities or minds in a body, each being different from the other, and felt odd. He could have guessed that he was somehow in love with her, strangely for the darker side of her, but he still wished they could be separated from each other, so he could speak to both at the same time and find out more from them.

The guardian looked at him, smiling a little before she said to him, "I know how you feel and I know you aren't like the rest of them. If you wish, I would be willing to leave with you and I suppose you could tell me more of your world and maybe I could tell you about mine." The knight nodded, and finally remembered that he did not know the damsel's name nor had he introduced himself. "My name is Durm, fair maiden." He said and she replied, knowing what he wanted to know, "And we both would be Karien. Or if you wish, Kary."

The knight offered his arm to the damsel and she took it, smiling as they walked out of the dreaded and cursed castle where the albino horse was waiting for them, as if she knew they would be coming out then. The knight helped the damsel to get on the horse, even if she tried to tell him that she did not have to ride it as she could fly if she wanted to, but the knight insisted, knowing that it would hurt her somehow. The knight then climbed upon the horse and they rode to the knight's home, his own castle, not knowing that his Evil mother was back for revenge.[b]

.:Juliana:.
No need to reapply; you're already approved no matter how long it's been since you last posted. And it's good enough that you could be approved on the strength of this anyhow.

by zer026 Wed May 12, 2010 9:43 am

Medium (What you do most of) :Poems and sometimes stories
How long have you been writing? :I dont really know...
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

Ever wondered how we all came to earth?
Ever wondered why wonderful things happen for a reason?
Well... I thought about it.... It seems that we were brought here by something....
And that something is... "Love".

Well we cannot easily describe what love is.
But what I can say about it is that love brings happiness.
But why love?

Love because you want it.
Love because you want something.
Love because you NEED it.
Love because you can't live without it.

We were brought here by the love of God up to the love of our parents.
We win games because we love the game and enjoy it.
We get loved because we also love.
We become happy when we love.

Love does not bring sorrow.
Only hate and wrong doings bring sorrow.
So love people... and let them love you back.
Its your own way of saying..."Hey, Lets become happy"

"Its Just Love"

(I apologize if it reaches more than 200... I didn't really count it while I was typing it)

.:Juliana:.
Quite nice; it appears to be a cross between a freeverse poem and a meditation, and I'm rather partial to the subject matter. Your conventions, grammar, etc. are also very good: I can find no errors. Approved.

by Arch Fiend Tue May 25, 2010 4:16 am

Medium (prettymuch everything except personal narritives (ex. mostly fiction short storys and small novals)) :
How long have you been writing? : 3 or 4 years, because of early complications in my life i fail at spelling
Example :

Slowly it changed its form like a gargoyle the creature that was once a stone statue on the buttress of the cathedral was now rising to its fully erected height and peering down at the intruding assassin with its roaring green eyes and monstrous silhouette against the rain, darkness, and night.

"W-what are you? demon? evil spirit?" Said the assassin. "No." Said the figure. "Be gone, I’m of the holy and the church you have no power against me and I will complete my duty." Said the man.

"I’m no demon or monster, one like you would outclass me by a hundred." the figure looms. "You who have stole from those who have none to give and favor those who give you the most in the name of something you make people believe is right and sacred as they slowly dround in blood and your wine." "My name is arch fiend, the last MAN you’ll ever know."

The figure lands a powerful blow upon the churches assassin with his mighty blade wounding him mortally before he falls to his death his last vision a armored figure casting him down into darkness as the thunder and lightning roll and crash in the sky.

Not approved. You need to work on your grammar.
-Shadow

by **Thoru** Tue May 25, 2010 4:51 am

Medium: Pen and paper?
How long have you been writing?: about a year
Example :
My name? It’s Thoru. I am all that remains of the Shadow Sential army. I am a master of the ways of darkness. One of the 5 Lords of darkness. Thus my other name, Lord Thoru. The other 4 are probably dead now, or they might be searching for the same things as me, the armors of power. It’s unknown how many of the armors exist but there have been sightings of at least 5. One for each lord? No, that’s not possible. My destiny was never pre-determined. I am a Doom Knight. My armor is magnificent looking. A dark shade of blood red. Spikes on the shoulders. An almost tentacle like weaving around the lower legs and upper shoulders. The helmet spits evil energy from the eyes. The cape is tattered and worn from countless battles. The blade is the soul of it though. The blade is sleek and dark red. It practically SCREAMS power! I received this armor from the Master Zentuller. He was the original leader. I have taken over for him seeing as he was killed. How was he killed? Well let me tell you………………

Not approved, you need to work on the flow of your writing. You use full-stops instead of commas a bit too often. For example: 'my armor is magnificent looking. A dark shade of blood red,' would sound better as: 'my armor is magnificent looking, with a dark shade of blood red.' I know it is a simple change, but it makes it sound a lot better.
-Shadow

by Snukems Thu May 27, 2010 2:43 am

Medium (What you do most of) : War / "Nukia"
How long have you been writing? : I've been writing since the time I decided to start writing.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

THE MILITIAMON STORY - SS ANNA STORY.
Patrico was commanded to fight the Nukian Empire puppet state of Pokemonia. He is moving in on the capital in what used to be Tokyo, but it is now divided into Saffron, Celadon, Vermillion, and Fuchsia, along with a small part of Cerulean City. He is heading to Vermillion.

The SS Anna, with Patrico on board, has now arrived in Vermillion. Suddenly, a truck approaches from the port bow, and rams through the SS Anna! It is controlled by the Cyber MissingNo, a species of Militiamon that lurks in cyberspace, which Patrico had thought he defeated at New Island! The SS Anna withstands the first few blows, but is soon invaded by the Cyber MissingNo. To save the Anna (I'll just refer to it as the Anna from now on), they had to shut off all computers within five minutes. So Patrico hits the button that disables all computers, and so, cuts off the fuel and shelter of the Cyber MissingNo. Patrico and his squadron ran around the Anna trying to capture Cyber MissingNoes, after this.

I cut it off early for the word limit, but yeah, I'm a good writer and such. But it is a nice use of the SS Anne Truck.

Approved. I like the way you've taken an already known setting and given it your own twist to it.
Welcome to the word gallery!
-Shadow

by Noah306 Mon May 31, 2010 10:51 am

Medium (What you do most of) : I started with writing stories but lately I've moved to poetry
How long have you been writing? : Not very long, i would say only about a month or two
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :
There’s the ones that you love, and the ones that you hate
There’s the people who care, and the people who fake
The people who hate, they hate cause its fun
But it always seems, the ones who love want to run
I’ve always tried, to keep all that I have
But in the end, my friendships get cut in half
The ones who say they love, just want a break
Because they’re fed up with you, and had all they can take
And sometimes you wonder, is this really the best
Or would you’re friends lives be better, if you packed up and left
You say to yourself, you need to be strong
You pack up and leave, because you’re better off gone

.:Juli:.
Wow, the poem is depressing, but it's good and I can't see any particular mistakes. Approved; you'll fit right in.

by Dalganoth Hitokiri Sun Jun 13, 2010 10:57 pm

Medium (What you do most of) : Non fiction

How long have you been writing? : 4 or 5 months

Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : The city was ablaze tonight with travelers, the full moon was shining through the white, misty fog. I was mesmerized from the blazing lights this night, I needed to go find a traveler and pickpocket them if I am to survive tonight. I went silently, prowling like a cat, in the shadows of city. There walking stiffly, like she was important, was a girl with a black suit, a onyx top hat, and curly coal hair with tar-colored,cold, harsh eyes. I keep walking behind her and silently I put my arm in her suit pocket, hoping at least for one gold coin, I felt nothing in there. Before I could even blink, she caught my arm and gripped me hard, asking "What where you trying to do fool?!". I stood there paralyze, no words coming out of my mouth, only a silent squeak came out..

Sorry I passed the limit.. hope it's good who ever reads it..

.:Juli:.
No worries; we don't even bother with the limit anymore. This is great. Approved.

by Xusha Tue Jun 15, 2010 4:59 am

Medium (What you do most of) : I generally write short stories.
How long have you been writing? : 13 years.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : (Random excerpt of my novel, if you wish to know more, then you'll have to approve me)

The boy was petrified, as this was a strange and new concept to his peaceful world.
Looking deeper into the cave, he hung his thoughts, not knowing what to do. The hand on his katana slowly loosened. His irises were laid upon a pile of gold and precious stones, piled in a corner outside the room. These were remnants of the wealth that once had come into possession of a dragon, and which now served to the new owner of the cave. History would soon say he had not wasted this day, knowing that he had wealth, in addition to having collected information. The young student had thought endless possibilities while staring at the fortune. To achieve its wealth, he must pass the opening, where the bandits were, and reach the darker side of the cave. Backing away, he became one with the shadows and tried to sneak past the opening on the wall. Moving slowly and waiting for the right moment, he passed easily without being detected. All at once, he stood before the riches. Marveling for one moment, he soon became terrified. A hand covered with a thick leather was now planted upon his shoulder. Clutching his katana quickly, the boy attempted divert their attention, as the figure stated:

"Wishing for death to be your fortune? "

.:Juliana:.
It's quite good. I can see nothing wrong with it at all. Unequivocally approved!

by Lady Morri Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:37 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Freeverse Poetry
How long have you been writing? : 9-10 years
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) :

The wind blew gently across the rich green grass and beautiful, healthy hay fields. The clouds moved slowly, calmly, but heaved with their load. The puffy white clouds swelled and drifted, then let go of their burden in a continuous, waving and pulsing rain shower. The hay stirred and the grass hungrily absorbed the rain into their large, shallow and voluminous root system.

A sick old man, sitting on the deck of a cabin, looked into the sky serenely then moved, with limbs creaking, to his feet. He rose and walked into the fields of hay and grass. He moved past them, unaware of their beauty, and the hay bowed its head in disgrace for not being noticed by its master. The man walked to edge of a nearby forest and the hay cried in agony as he leaned down to observe something else.

The sick man leaned his head back as he picked up a single, weak and withered rose. The rose was cool and damp in his fevered grasp and he smiled as it relieved him. He put his nose close to it and smelled its fresh scent. Then as he was smiling in relief, he closed his eyes and lost his strength. He fell forward as his life was carried away by the rain, wind and sickness. The mournful rose was crushed in his grasp. Two lives were lost that day, carried away by the rain, the sick rain.

I have to say that was REALLY GOOD, I love all the description and the ending, There were no grammar errors that were really noticable,you are a great writer and im happy to say
Approved
~Icey

by Angel of Grief Wed Jun 16, 2010 9:01 am

Medium (What you do most of) : Poetry or short (creepy) stories.
How long have you been writing? : Hmm...two years of actually trying.
Example (Small fragment of some of your work is fine, around 200 words or below please) : I'll just post the entire thing. It's not that long, honestly.

I'm afraid of the dark. I've actually been afraid of it since I was very, very young. Evidently, most kids that are my age were as well.

But I'm different. Or at least I think so.

Because truth be told, it's not the dark I'm afraid of. Merely what is hiding in it.

I bet you all know the feeling. A bump in the night. A tree scratching at the window. The creek-creek of your closet door opening a crack in a non-existent breeze.

It's at this point that most kids start screaming for their mother, pretending to want a glass of water, one last hug before they fall asleep, or whatever else.

The older kids won't do that. Instead, they find an excuse. They go check their Twitter, Facebook, or Myspace, just hoping that the dim glow of the computer screen will keep the Boogieman in the closet at bay. Others, without access to a computer, will turn their lights on.

You fools.

He couldn't find you in the dark.

.:Juliana:.
Wow, that's creepy, but it's great. Approved!

by Bram Sat Jun 19, 2010 11:39 am

Medium: Longer stories, poetry, sometimes comedy, sometimes drama. Etc. (I know, 'etc' doesn't work with a list of un-related things, but you get the point)
How long have you been writing? : Dunno. 10 years. ._.
Example: I'm afraid to sleep at night, I just lay there thinking about tomorrow. And whether I'll be in the same place or time when I wake up. It's hard not knowing when or where you'll be in the next five seconds. You could be halfway across the room and five seconds into the future, or halfway across the universe and five billion years into the past.
Most people would pay anything to live my life; running free, going anywhere and anywhen, anytime I want. But it's not like that.
I live by the rules that were lay down millennia ago by the ones who did this to me. The ones who created this curse and destroyed my life forever. I'm an outlaw and a fugitive everywhere I go. I live in the shadows, I know no one. I don't even remember my own name. The number engraved into the skin on my left arm is a lot easier to remember than a full name.
It's been hundreds, or maybe thousands of years since the day when I came home and found the note. I was told not to worry, it may be temporary. It was a great honor to be here, now, this. It wasn't true. They couldn't control it.
So now I'm stuck. They're dead. I have no way of knowing where or when I'll be next. I just hope for the best and dive head first into whatever situation I'm put into. It's hard to believe I'm not dead by now, especially with that philosophy.
But that's what I do, that's who I am.
Until a few days ago, I was the scourge of the universe.
Now, I'm times last hope.
Please to meet you.
Wont you guess my name?

.:Juli:.
That... is so creepy... and so great... approved!!!

by Sparda Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:26 pm

Medium: Mostly stories. Of the long and short variety.
How long have you been writing? : Ever since I had to write a paper in second grade. So about 12 years. If you mean as a hobby, then I've only been doing that for a day.
Example: Shadow: Dake I’m getting a bit tired of needing to come down here and cleanup after you.

Dake: But Shadow, all this work is very critical for TR.

Shadow: How is firing a chicken out of a cannon critical?

Dake: Vamp likes fast food.

Sparda: Hey guys, I just climbed up through the sewers and I’m looking for Peregrine

Dake: *glances over at Sparda* Who are you?

Shadow: Better question, how did you manage to get to that ladder? It doesn’t lead to anywhere.

Sparda: Well I’m Sparda, I’m the new employee and I’m just trying to get to work, but Vamp wouldn’t let me in the front door.

Dake: That figures.

Sparda: Also I managed to follow the current in the sewers and then climbed up the ladder like the Sewage Cleanup Guy told me to.

Shadow: You mean that Ratchet and Clank reference?

Sparda: Yeah that guy.

Shadow: Man I love that guy. He’s the only other guy who does any cleaning around here.

Sparda: Anyway, do either of you know where Pere would be?

Dake: He could be pretty much anywhere. As a matter of fact, I’m not entirely sure what he does around here anyway.

Shadow: If I had to guess, Pere would probably be in the cafeteria or bar.

Sparda: Which one is closer?

Shadow: The bar. If you want to get there, just head out the door and follow the right side of the hallway for awhile. You should smell the TR ale from a pretty good distance.

Sparda: Thanks guys. Have a good time making your clearly critical machines.

Dake: See Shadow? That guy gets it.

Shadow: I still don’t see why we need a steam powered conveyor belt that leads to the bathroom.

Dake: Shadow you just don’t understand.

You only have one small problem, which is adding commas between two connecting thoughts. I've added those in with red for you. As long as you fix that in the future,
~LeppyApproved~

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